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angela brown - i thought he was my man lyrics

angela brown
poems2
13

the cult14

the negro saga of a ghetto queen15

stereo types16

to love oneself17

forsaken18

red nature19

to dream to be an american20

reflectionplayer, spoken word
i thought i had a man. a bmw. ooops; but he fooled me into believing he was a good man. you see, i was not good to myself. i was not true to myself when i trusted my body to beused for free, for good conversation, for l-st. i had been living a lie. i dreamt of the fairy tale wedding, having kids, a house, a good car and good job if i met the perfect mate. i thought worldly on him but you see he played me with his mind control act, that i believed it. i washis sl-t. you see, the player was a cl-ss act. he had it going on. he was all that. when ithought i had him wrapped around me pinky, i turned out to be a freak under neath th-sh-ets. brother had it going on. he was fine to me. he had a bank roll that he loved tospend on me. his personality was smooth. his conversation was intellectual. he had cl-ss.if he asked me to jump, i would say how high. for this man i was willing to go the distance.s-x was so good, i ain’t lying, i thought he was the one. you see, each moment of ecstasy was a lie. i was fooled into believing s-x would make him special. s-x would make him allmine. s-x was the foundation of our relationship. s-x would keep him coming back to me. ihad to have it. it did not matter where i did it. we could have s-x in the jeep, s-x at the crib,s-x on the counter, s-x at work, s-x at school. i had an addiction to giving this man what he wanted, wherever he wanted whenever he wanted it. he wanted it so much; s-x was themind game we played. he tricked me into believing he needed me. he needed my loving as atoken of chast-ty. with that said, i found the truth about s-x after each child. he left mebare foot and pregnant year after year. that all those years of commitment, i was played. that i was a warm hole to pee in. that i was the kick on the side with a concubine to raisealone, no but by his cousin or maybe he said to give our child to his girlfriend or wife toraise. he said i was about nothing. i felt like nothing. there are 3 sorts of women to a man,his loyal wife, his loyal friend and his loyal freak. i was the freak he came too when his wife was not there to submit to him. men are control freaks and if you are foolish enough tobelieve it, you have been played. i thought i was good enough for him to come back to me. i was a bag of tricks. now all i speak of are commitments and having just one true love. allthe men i knew were like this. i did not ask to be a hutchie mamma playing tricks by abunch of high rollers. i wanted to be the innocent virgin who was respected and treated likean african queen. all i am saying is do not make the same mistake sleeping from man toman, when you deserve better

- angela brown lyrics

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