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angry fan radio - dizaster vs. anderson burrus lyrics

[round 1: dizaster]
now i done taken a lot of creative match ups in the octagon
but shouts out to caps cause this about to be the first time i get to battle with a soccer mom
aye!
half r+t+rded graphic artist
photoshopping a graph of bars of his ’til it no longer looks like a bag of garbage
he’s handing out shaft enlargements
got an aura like wholesome rice
he’s so polite
“yo, yo, yo. it’s the token white
stranded on url island with my other homie mike
yo, me and mike p bro, we’re so alike.”
holy a. ward christ, it’s a polish poltergeist
so white he could absorb so much solar light
the reflection that comes off his dome is so bright
that his forehead glows at night
dude!
he can animate effects
he can talk to your grandma, he’s grammatically correct
walked into a starbucks with him and {bloo bloop} his wi+fi automatically connects
but ain’t no cajun spots on this caucasian’s block
they just like to burn red meat and eat steak a lot
his parents still put mayonnaise on their tater tots
why he take this battle?
cause he looks like a racist cop so you already know he won’t hesitate to take the shot
got me out here battling with avacodo’s big brother, pssst apricot
tellin’ all the url rappers he’s gonna let his toolie burst
when you look like you do computer work for ruin your day’s youtube in a parallel universe
look man, as far as i know, we are not alike bro
you got that donkey like, honkey type nose
you remind me of ‘cotton eye joe’, three’s company, why don’t you knock on my door?
this is rocky balboa versus…well not apollo, you more like johnny bravo
b+tch this is you…his image huge but he’s really just a little dude
that would lose a fight to one of my homegirls, i should have s.o. finesse finish you
rx don’t even need a knife, you would get k!lled by reese with her spoon (witherspoon)
b+tch i will send you to the moon
i will life in the air…like your mom when she’s tryin’ to vacuum in the living room
yo, you know what rhymes with anderson burrus?
psst, you’se a battle rap tourist
i can’t believe i gotta battle this cat
but shots out to bruno mars and dumbfoundead cause i’m ’bout to smoke on this anderson pack (anderson.paak)
i’ll hit anderson with the tommie so hard it’ll leave a scar on pamela’s back
it’s an anderson silva attack
versus a silverback gorilla, his achilles heel gettin’ snapped
i’ll knock the flesh on the face off this extra from bay watch
then send him the footage of it like, “here. start editing that.”
he’s like, “sure. i’ll get to work on it right now. me and the dream team.”
which actually just means him by himself and six other green screens
look, listen here mr. sir mister
the only reason everyone in here doesn’t look like you is cause we k!lled hitler
young skin blister
a ken doll stick figure, face full of ken doll and chris jenner’s lip filters
a little b+tch n+work like ben stiller
he spits filler then injects it as botox in his forehead so it looks stiffer
he looks like a serial k!ller
serial (cereal) as if he would k!ll off a bowl of cheerios quicker
outside my house threatening me like, “look what i do to your social media pictures.”
shut up andy
how the f+ck are you a battling rhymer and a graphic designer?
you might as well be a hermaphrodite cause that’s like being a man who has a b+llsack and a v+g+n+
this f+ggot from grindr looks like a youtube financial adviser
a scam artist life coach or one of those staff members at kaiser
permenante, the verbal sensei
my words are like a curving chest blade
i’ll stick my pen in you then twist and turn into it like your first cassette tape
i will turn your head and make your nerdy neck break
i will, “dude. walk through your house and murk your pet snake”, and turn into the perfect belt length
you will look like you was born a b+tch like ciara and went to a beverly hills surgeon and had a permanent s+x change
never seen a nerd with such a tall built physique
he’s like the final boss of the geeks
the final boss that you meet in the middle of dawson’s creek
when you see him, it’s mortal kombat in the streets
his signature move is takin’ you for a long walk on the beach
don’t sleep on him
he got a command list full of lots of techniques
he’s got fatalities, his “finish him”?
he walks up and offers you peace
if you refuse he calls the police
{phone rings} “office, there’s a black man walkin’ around with his dog off the leash.”
pssst, i’m that smarter, i’m that sharper, i’m pushin’ a vanguard to say the least
right now, you a walkin’ l surrounded by that black water from stranger things about to get smacked back to your grandfathers in ancient greece
man this is a manslaughter
man you look like frak’s father
man your chances of winning this match, harder than
you tryin’ to form an actual connection with a black barber
you’re an embarrassment, that’s why
you’re over there with your family tryin’ to explain your rap ties
and how beasley grabs his hair and baptize him
but he’s over there with the smack guys and his parents only know them as “those scary black guys.”
i walked up to him like, “yo, what do you think about these gangs takin’ over the local blocks again?”
he’s like, “to be honest i don’t understand why they always fight over those cause my father owns all of them.”
psst, f+ckin’ great white hope
yeah, i can see him on future movies and sets, he’s the perfect white hero
he’s like superman, it makes too much sense
but unlike superman who would have the usual “s”
you’re a descendant from germany so you would have two on your chest
man, learn the sh+t
you turned our turf into a circus gig so this is for every piece of work i did that this nerd tried to circumvent
he’s determined to be part of the url circuit but he’s really just in an internment cause he ain’t know what an intern meant
b+tch you’se a novelty act born from the collective of the digital sperm on the internet
so who cares if you get offended you’re a walking wild ‘n out template and that’s the depth of your f+ckin’ intellect
…no disrespect
[round 1: anderson burrus]
agreeing to battle dizaster on one week’s prep, is uh, one of the dumbest things i’ve done
but like a half a mile job, i’m ’bout to go on an easy (eazy) run
y’all say, “dizaster is a god when he raps he speaks in tongues.”
but on the app i’m 4+0, and even god is 3+1
imagine all the doors that are gonna open once i’m through with cookin’ you
next summer madness url is gonna be puttin’ me with mook
then me and eminem are gonna do a 2 on 2
bro, my stock is like a drone strike, it’s shootin’ through the roof
see you used to be the master
you had all these schemes and patterns
but you went from arabic terrorist to embarrassing vegan rapper
this should be huge for me, but truthfully it doesn’t even matter
i’m like an optimist, i’m tellin’ y’all, this is not a complete disaster (dizaster)
i mean, king of the dot loves you, cause you have an ill, sick pen
but url is not the place that diz’ fits in
i mean, you still come out to our events and you can still get in
but that’s cause beasley just assumes that you’re one of real sikh’s friends
i mean, you love reading all these studies but you can never read the room
you’re always watching alex jones cause you don’t trust the evening news
you hate soul khan and frak, you have this weird beef with jews
you say, “kanye is a g+nius….and you know, his music is decent too.”
like, why you always hatin’ on cortez? saying he’s not the people’s champ?
you’re just mad cause he can say the n+work and you and don marino can’t
bro, i used to see you as this god with a voice that can shake buildings
now you’re like the conservative uncle that i avoid at thanksgiving
i mean, i can kinda see where you’re coming from though, you know, like, things keep gettin’ banned
and political correctness is really out of hand
like, i never understood “cultural appropriation”, like, i used to think that was a scam
but then i saw you wearing braids, now i completely understand
bro that’s not a hairstyle, that’s a midlife crisis in action
forget finding your passion, diz’ find some more black friends
when i see that hair it stirs in me this violent reaction
i look up at the sky and i’m askin’ like, “why did this happen?”
this must be what daylyt feels like every time that i’m rappin’
i know that you think that it’s neat and different
but bro i need for you to listen
that hair is awful diz’, please don’t get it twisted
i know sharia law turned the middle east into a prison
but if it’ll make those braids illegal then we need to implement it
i mean you’re walkin’ around without a turban, like, “yo, how fresh is this cut?”
man, real sikh must look at you and think you’re dressed like a sl+t
i can keep goin’ on about your hair but at this point it’s just gettin’ wasteful
cause i only have four minutes {changes camera}, so let me go and switch the angle
see you have some anger issues diz’, you need to start admittin’ to that
i know you tore your acl and had your tibia cracked
so you went to the hospital and the doctor came in for a chat like
“alright, the road to recovery is gonna be a difficult path
especially with physical tasks. you’ll need assistance for that
but to better help you understand things, i printed this graph
and as you can see+ okay, why did you just rip it in half?”
diz is like, “nice try “doctor” you’re not gonna trick me with that
because we all know that jews are pr+ne to hidden attacks
so i need to feel your face until i’m sure it isn’t a mask
because until then i’m gonna be convinced that you’re frak.”
it’s like, jeez diz’, just frickin’ relax
i mean normally diz’, normally, i’d be nervous to battle you in person
you know, since i’ve seen you punch a dude
but i’m rapping securely in my apartment
so i’m about to get really tough with you
yeah, i don’t know where dizaster is
but once that’s figured out i’m trying to become a representative
that means i’m runnin’ in the house
i will stab you on this livestream, have you slumpin’ to the ground
bunch of blood will fill his mouth
take his guts and rip ’em out
yeah the viewers gon’ be thinkin’ that my mic is buggin’ out
cause y’all gon’ only hear the sounds of me cuttin’ in and out
i’ll hide his body in the woods, they’ll be sendin’ out a search crew
cops actin’ like a therapist, tryin’ to figure out who hurt you
and when they identify the body they’re gonna have to come prepared
cause when they pull that sheet back, it’s gonna be a disaster (dizaster) under there

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