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animaniacs - meticulous analysis of history lyrics

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[brain]
through meticulous +n+lysis of history
i will find a way to make the people worship me
by studying the conquerors of days gone by
i’ll discover the mistakes that made them go awry

[chorus]
so that you can make the same mistakes if you just try

[brain]
by studying the past so carefully
i won’t repeat the same mistakes of history

[chorus]
you’ll never make another mistake, you see
’cause you’ll fall asleep from reading all that history

[brain (spoken)]
pay attention, pinky

[brain]
when cleopatra reigned as queen
with roman leaders she was often seen
but when she had no ruling friend
she found a poison snake to bite her in the end

[chorus]
a bite down there we really wouldn’t recommend

[brain]
i won’t need world alliances
when i’m commanding everyone’s appliances

[chorus]
oh, no, brain, that would really smart
to be bitten on the bottom by a cuisinart

[brain]
hannibal, our book confirms
tried conquering italy with pachyderms
just why he failed, n0body tells
but he never could get past the roman sentinels

[chorus]
and he couldn’t find his weapons in the peanut sh+lls

[brain]
an elephant is not required
if i can use the media to be admired

[chorus]
the telescreen as you’ll delight
unless the network puts your show on sunday night

[brain]
attila was a mighty hun
he ransacked asia minor just for fun
but when he got to europe’s banks
he was routed by an army of heroic franks

[pinky]
i like mine with sauerkraut and mustard, thanks

[brain]
why pillage like a criminal
when i can send out messages subliminal

[chorus]
please send a message to that hun
to see if he can pillage us a hot dog bun

[brain]
caligula was no boy scout
he did things that we can’t even talk about
the romans knew he’d lost his head
when he filled a vacant senate seat with mr. ed

[chorus]
what’s wrong with being friendly with a thoroughbred?

[brain]
why rule like such a reprobate
when i can put the world in a hypnotic state?

[chorus]
when everybody’s in a trance
you can make the people do a chicken dance

[brain (spoken)]
pinky, if you don’t stop this foolishness, i shall have to hurt you

[brain]
in france, napoleon bonaparte
thought beating austria was very smart
but when he took on england too
he was beaten up by wellington at waterloo

[chorus]
and now he’s just a pastry filled with creamy goo

[brain]
why conquer with depravity
i’ll win the world by undermining gravity

[chorus]
and even if your plan falls through
maybe they will name a pastry after you

[brain]
from genghis khan to charlemagne
from alexander down to tamburlaine
i find a ruler’s tragic flaw
and gain a little wisdom out of each faux pas

[chorus]
don’t forget the former governor of arkansas

[brain]
that concludes my little rhyme
i hope this lesson wasn’t just a waste of time

[pinky]
well, brain, i’ve learned that one thing’s true

[chorus]
everyone of them has failed, and so have you

- animaniacs lyrics

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