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anthony "z" zonfrelli - fantasy lyrics

[verse 1: harry potter-themed]
they call me luna cause i love good
like flamel, i’m eternal
i can slytherin your gryffindor and
make you moan like myrtle
i skeet-skeet-skeeter, like a
daily prophet reporter
with junk so big they call me platform
nine and three-quarters
let me whomp you like a willow
call my place the shrieking shack
“i solemnly swear that i’m
up to no good” like sirius black
from the streets of knockturn alley
yeah that’s right, from the hood
now i’m so hot that i even give straight dudes
oliver wood
and every woman that i walk by
has to show some restraint
because i’m stronger than love potion
i make the babes wronski feint
i keep seeking on the pitches
and i’m catching all the snitches
you can call me you-know-who because i’m
hexing all these witches
do you know why i’m so fly
like arthur weasley’s car?
it’s because it’s leviosa
not leviosaaa

[hook]
staffs and bows, oh, wands and trolls
i’ll “alohamora” any woman’s hobbit-holes
like fleur delacour, i’m filled with s-xuality
man you can’t touch me, your fantasy is my reality

[spoken]
aight. i’m getting hungry…

[verse 2: hunger games-themed]
i’m hung like a seneca crane doll
and i’m white like president snow
and i’ve been compared to katniss
cause i’m lethal with my bow
i got more gold than effie and
i got more dough than peeta
and i’m deadlier than anything
inside that whole arena
so you can suck my nightlock berries
if you tryna be a hater
don’t be jealous just because the odds are
ever in my favor
and i got katniss everdeen
ever on this clever ween
yo who cares if she’s seventeen –
the everdeens got s-xy genes
i little-ducked her little sis
cause i’m on that primrose path
and when i did it was like the
cornucopia bloodbath-
….
[break: spoken apologies]

ladies be like they’re from district
1 when i’m near
cause when i drop my pants for reaping
they always volunteer
to jack my tracker, jabber my jay
i let three in my bentley
like a plethora of tesserae
i get multiple entries
and every single one of them’s
at least as hot as glimmer
lord forgive me, like kendrick and kravitz
i am a cinna (that’s a great line)
i’m getting high on morphling
and i’m drinking like haymitch
and like a quarter quell victor
i keep getting more famous
like the people in the capitol i
got the freshest attire
don’t think i’m gonna drop off homie
i’m just catching fire

[hook]
staffs and bows, oh, wands and trolls
i’ll “alohamora” any woman’s hobbit-holes
(that’s a euphemism for s-x!/)like fleur delacour, i’m filled with s-xuality
man you can’t touch me, your fantasy is my reality

[spoken]
only one more place to go

[verse 3: lord of the rings-themed]
in middle-earth i’m the biggest
man in the shire
i’m known as “the magnificent”
cause like smaug i spit fire
forget “afternoon delight” yo
i like multiple breakfasts
call you gollum all the time
because you gurgle -my precious-
lady asks me out but i say
“you shall not p-ss!
yeah you got a rack, but you also
got a flat… booty
and girl you ain’t got no chance
cause you’re stupid as hodor (game of thrones!)
and one does not simply
get to mount me like mordor.”
but i’d love tauriel
if kili ever gets tossed
“hey, evangeline lilly
we’ve really missed you since lost
so you should dump kili for me
because my shield is more oaken
let’s disappear in mirkwood
and make a jr. like tolkien.”
yeah i know it’s j.r.r. tolkein. yo, i was just joking
wait, now that i think about it that whole series has no token
black guy, in any of the movies seeing any of the action
no rue, thresh, or lee jordan representing that whole faction
they don’t even have a mace windu, a samuel l. jackson
(unless you count the orcs because they’re possibly be some fraction.)
you’d think there’d be at least one if the director had comp-ssion
the only logical extraction seems to be that peter jackson’s
racist…

- anthony z zonfrelli lyrics

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