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apollo - i don't wanna go outside lyrics

[intro]
okay, listen, yeah

[verse 1]
i’ve been suicidal for a while
my friends don’t ever worry ’cause i’m good at faking smiles
my anxiety’s the reason i don’t ever want a child
i’m not bringing kids in this world knowing i’ma see ’em down
so i do this for my mom in hopes she’s proud of me (that’s facts)
when i was young, i told her everything i’m ’bout to be (that’s facts)
and everything i went through, she was with me in them moments
and it’s hard for me to get these words out of me, but f+ck, i’m doing well

[interlude]
(but f+ck, i’m doing well)
yeah, i’m doing well
(i’m doing well)

[verse 2]
as far as you can tell ’cause all you know is what tеll you
’cause the truth is hard to swallow and that story doesn’t sеll
but every time i tried to tell you, it’s just old news
there’s a lot of stories left unsaid on pro tools
the relationship i’m in got me thinking that i’m ’bout to have a baby
man, this sh+t is crazy but i’m standing on my own
i don’t know where i’m headed but it can’t be worse than here
it’s like every f+cking second i think about my career
and every stupid f+cking comment got my questioning my life
because they’re interested in mine like it was theirs
see i don’t understand the culture these days
it’s like they cancel anybody in the culture these days
it’s like they don’t know when to stop when they got nothing left to say
and every comment that they drop, they intended to cause pain
y’all are f+cking losers
y’all got too much time but you don’t ever use it
life is short but y’all would rather be online though
than challenge yourself by doing sh+t you ain’t used to
but anyways, i’m off+topic, time here is crucial
i feel like robin williams, i can’t lie though
cracking jokes but inside though, i’m feeling suicidal
a lot of things i’m going through that only me and god knows
i know i need help but my spirit’s too prideful
i staying here for us
i’m here ’cause i can’t bear the thought of mom losing a son
but lately, i’ve had had thoughts about me finally giving up
and tonight might be the night that i go through with something in my life that feels right for once
’cause i’ve been struggling for too long
the high i get from music only lasts me for a few songs
then i’m back to where i was until i make the next one
and every time i drop, my label’s looking for the next one
it’s october 23rd (2018)
and i’m ’bout to take my life
i’m sick of being tired and i’m tired of being right
everything i’ve ever wanted either’s gone or out of sight
and then i wrote that f+cking album, ‘i don’t wanna go outside,’ yeah

- apollo lyrics

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