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arkh zeus - soleana lyrics

[verse]
she was a woman that’s like no other
came from the gutter, her and her mother
no armour for those monsters? no problem
that won’t stop her, she’ll go harder, so don’t bother
tryna get in between her life or her legs
unless you got money or work for the feds, preferably the bread
spent more on drugs than protection instead
this her fourth time fertilizing her egg, will y’all be left for the dead?
that’s what you asked the moon
now look at that, your first love, he came right back to you
of course you curved that n-gga cause he wouldn’t pack a tool
well that’s too bad for you
never left you black and blue just like those other savage dudes
but your time is up, who gon take care of luna?
of course not you, especially not those demons that you just let consume ya
she’ll be the sequel of a lost cause fool
spoken to after her ashes blow in the monsoon

[outro]
hola…espero que la persona que ahora escucha esto sea mi amada hija, luna. si seguiste mis reglas ahora deberías tener 17 años escuchando esta cinta
my name is soleana. i am 17 years old. i am the mother of the 1 child i brought into this world out of the 4 i was pregnant with
it hurts my soul that i can no longer handle being in this world. not even for you. i want to use this time to tell you a few things about me. you shall be the only one who knows my story
i grew up with horrible parents. when me and my mother moved here from el salvador, we had even less than what we had to run away from. we were constantly abused by my father and his gang members. everybody around us was too afraid to help. coming here made things worse for me because my mother was constantly suffering from trauma and took it out on me. i never escaped the abuse, and now my own mother was abusing me more than i ever was
by the time i was 13, i ran away. i had nothing to take with me other than the locket with my name in it. i had no means to survive. all that was on my mind was that i needed to find an escape; anything that could fill the hole in my heart that only continued gaping as time moved on and on
i started doing things that i’m not proud to admit. i’ve slept with many men to keep myself afloat, i did drugs and drank til i couldn’t think or feel anything. these men were no different from my parents. they all abused me whenever i became a bother to them. it’s like i was just a magnet to the pain i was trying to rid myself of
your father though, he was a good man. a fool, yes; very stupid, but still loved me as much as he could. that’s why i had his child. i just wish he didn’t give up on me, but i don’t blame him at all. i wasn’t good to him the way he was to me. why am i even alive? why was i born? n0body loves me. n0body understands me or my pain. i don’t love me. i regret everything. you’re the only thing i don’t regret, even though you’re a product of my regrets
i want you to understand that i’m only leaving you because i know you’re special. you’re strong enough to get through this life on your own the way that i couldn’t. wear my necklace with pride. never take it off. that’s how you’ll learn more about yourself and your powers. n0body can take that away from you. don’t ever let them know your feelings, your secrets, none of it
i hope you make it past 17. i believe in you. goodbye forever, mi amor
one last thing…your real name…it’s not luna. it’s…ire—

- arkh zeus lyrics

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