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arne åsmund - evelyn (remastered) lyrics

when i met evelyn
seven years ago in a bar
we drove my car and parked in a dark unmarked spot but behind the barn
she told me i was beautiful
and i took off her clothes
i cuffed her to the door
almost got her unconscious
with the first swing of my baseball bat
but baby i still thrilled her well
for many hours until daybreak
when her neck broke
by that last stroke from this hammer
i swung so fine
and everything was good
i stayed for as long as i could
and thanked her for a lovely night
before i kissеd her and then her flеsh, i ate

i met mary on new years eve, at a barn dance
i hit her in the head as she took off my pants
and i tied her up to the electric fence
she was screaming something unintelligible
so i cut off her ears
and stuffed them in her mouth
but she kept moaning and foaming and bleeding and crying and dying
until morning came
and i had to go away again
i gave her my favorite gasoline can
put a cigarette in her hand
and that was the end

carol i met at a metro stop in rome, she told me:
well i don’t care where you’re from
as long as i can take you home
i said it was arrange+able
she laid down by the fire
i tied her up with barb wire
and as she screamed higher and higher
i just tied the knot round her neck a bit tighter
and when her head popped she even bled out the fire
that’s precision bleeding to admire
i found her eyes in the remnants of her head
sat by the telly and ate them with some bread

i met jill when i was sailing through greece
she gave me her address and her keys
said please join me for some wine and cheese
we’ll watch the stars and it’ll be beautiful
i gave jill my word
the last thing she ever heard
was me whispering baby relax
before hitting the back of her head with my axe
and the blood from the cracks made both of us blood red. afterwords i assumed she was dead
so i lay down beside her on her bed looked into her eyes and said: baby give me head

so now i’m single again, it’s true!
and i’m out there searching for you
to find your eyes so sweet and blue
i’ll tell you that you’re beautiful
you’ll invite me home, where we will be all alone
i’ll ask to borrow your phone
but instead i’ll go searching through your flat

for a:
shovel or an axe or a fork or a hammer
an umbrella or a knife or a bottle or a kettle
or a hair dryer wire or a chair or a flare or dog or a pen or a shoe or a blender
a frying pan or a frozen leg of lamb
or a stick or a bat or some poison for rats
or some tape made for raping
a stapler for stapling you up to the ceiling
a plate or a crate or a plant or a gun
no [?] guns, they’re no fun
but a saw or spike or a stone or a bike or a rope or a chain or a shoe or a cane or peeler a mattress a rose or a pint glass
a hat or a crate full of mouse traps
a bat or a bowl or a cat or a bread
anyway my love i’ll get you dead

- arne asmund lyrics

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