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ash ellis - broken lightbulb lyrics

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[intro]

i’ve got a lot of stress going on in my head
something i wonder if life would be lived easier from bed
sometimes it’s hard to live elsewhere, it’s hard to get up
sometimes you’re in too deep, blame yourself, you’ve been cut

you can try to bide your time, try to hide from time
but it will all catch up to you and you’ll have just wasted time
spend time in recovery, spend time in depression
spend time recovering from a suicidal session

i don’t refuse to self+abuse, a manic search for use
for a brain too battered and bruised, that is scattered and confused
a mind plagued by trauma, it’s colder but it can only get warmer
just focus on music for some semblance of an ember

i work so hard to the point it’s gone too far
every time i type is a mental war, a cerebral spar
write about the same topics until it’s ingrained in stars
if i keep picking the same wound then, yes, it’s bound to scar

and what does it say to you when you hear self+abuse?
a madman with a guitar and a broken attitude
and a sh+tty parachute, fall from altitude
you’ll stop falling soon, just bide your time till noon

you’ll smash into the ground and take a look around
you’ll ask where are the lights? where are the words?
was i writing in the dark?
is this even work?

these words may have splashed like blood onto a page
but my mind will stay gashed open ’til my prose are as good as i frame
words of broken pain poured from a broken brain
convince yourself you’ve stayed the same, your work is sh+t because you have never changed

perfectionism is never perfect
even if you do great your mind will still hurt itself
selfish, melt it down to it’s core, tear your notebooks into pieces till they lie on the floor
an exposed heart and soul in words you once adored, just five minutes after writing, a head, a bl++dy war

a wall you can’t ignore, still mining for more
a pencil to the bone like a f+cking bonesaw
still mining for me, you’ll never write like before
if you heart is drained what’s the point in trying anymore?

if you’ll never make it what’s the point in even trying?
oh look at you now a pathetic curled up ball, crying
you’ve got no f+cking right to sit there and whinge
you chose this life, you threw caution to the wind

i’ve assessed it; a bruised fist, a cut wrist, a dumb sh+t
you’re worthless when you’re wordless like a freak from a circus
you used to have so many ideas that you had them in surplus
but now they’re gone just like you; into the abyss

a musician with no position to talk about their intuition
your only creation is an obsession with lost love fixation
there’s no light, it’s just spite, f+ck your life, you’re full of sh+te
a leech with sh+t speech and impossible goals, full of maybe, mights

you rely on others, a human smother, let them go they don’t need you anyway
you’re like a broken lighter, you can’t light a fire to light the cigarettes you crave like you crave this mess
so use someone else to further yourself
light it and let it go as grey as an ashtray

you’re gullible and unlikable and your syllables are barely passable
you’re broken and unlovable and your attempts have been laughable
so just give up now
you’re never gonna be proud

you’ve got a broken lightbulb above your broken head
you could plug it into your veins but the lights will just be dark red

[outro]

- ash ellis lyrics

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