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ashersmonologue - god, forgive me lyrics

[verse 1]
drywall
man my heart keeps growing colder
i can’t shake it off, feel like i got 2 boulders on my shoulders
to my right, i see jehovah
to my left, devil approaching
i can feel them boasting
feed me with poison, and that b+tch potent
waking up, staring at the sp+ce i’ve taken up
no cosmetics ain’t no makin’ up, god please forgive!
for what i done did, through the static, i’m breakin’ up
my minds racing at the fact, i’m tryna out live
all the hypocrisies
standing ovation, moving so awkwardly
burnt by the pain of my own pity, pleading my prophecy
no need for an apology, i’m building up my colony
hallucination, my mind blurry from all the oxys
was this the part that i was just gonna apologize?
i couldn’t give two f+cks, look me right in the eye
hypnotized, as i’m giving them solemn eyes, dramatized
god left me to suffer like he weren’t the one that i idolized

[bridge]
am i awake from this dream yet?
it’s like i’m living in a life, that nothing i do see fits
somebody help me, i’m pleading
god, forgive, for all the sins, i let you know that i mean it
[verse 2]
this sh+t ain’t picture perfect
my knees weak, it’s getting harder to breathe, man i’m worthless
can’t build more immunity for this life, feel like a burden
been trapped inside my mind, with my f+cking life, feel uncertain
this sh+t ain’t picture perfect
the pearly gates
i start to clear my throat
knowing i’ll put on a f+cking show
god, forgive me
for my past, please know that i have grown
from the sh+ll of a man, that i once was known
i can barely breathe
i fill my lungs with all these toxins, hope to feel a peace
start seeing red, all i ever knew was trigger squeeze
i start to get on my knees, pray to god he stops this misery
’till then i pour a 4, sh+t looking like some f+cking listerine
i never disappeared, guess you can say i was idling
my flow resemble oxygen, two parts split up like hydrogen
survivalist reciting the tightest sh+t when i’m ciphering
enlighten ‘em, you all on the nеt
disputing and cybering
i’m incredible, put me on a pedestal
my weapon blow, silence buffoonery on their rebel souls
sk!ll embedded, god, on a different epilogue
i’m considered to have one of the sickest repertoires
man, i got the power to make you listen and show the essence
written sacred as hieroglyphics, you in the pharaoh’s presence
peace to the gods, the earths, you know the message
and if the sky is the limits, you sit below the f+cking heavens
so i plead to my god, i know that you gonna forbid
to rebuke my sins, cause life giving me injustice
i promise i can do better, please don’t deny the kid
god, forgive me, for anything that i done did

- ashersmonologue lyrics

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