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aspen elocin - after the drugs lyrics

why am i still so unhappy
i’m off that sh+t
should be glad
i’m not feeling much for life
i’m tired should just take a nap
i sleep alot more
more than i use too
and my nightmares have mostly relaxed
the trees are starting to change colors
but i still feel sad

it’s really isolating
wanting to be so alone
i don’t expect life changing
it’s all just a cycle till gone
still wish there was more to my feelings
than the feeling of numb

but i’m fine
cause i’m sober
my life isn’t over
i’ll smile again
in a while with friends
and we’ll drink and we’ll laugh
i’ll swear was a blast
i closed my eyes for an hour today
i prayed to a god i didn’t beliеve
i closed my eyеs for an hour today
prayed to a god i didn’t believe
i called my mom but i knew she wouldn’t answer
we’re not talking lately
stood in the mirror to gain some perspective
soaked up alot of self degradation

but i’m fine
cause i’m sober
my life isn’t over
i’ll smile again
in a while with friends
and we’ll drink and we’ll laugh
i’ll swear was a blast
but by 1 am i’ll be alone in my house
crying to ghosts of my past

it’s done
i’m not having fun
addiction has lost
but my mental instability has won
i’m afraid of the dark
can’t do life on my own
change makes me anxious
i’m dancing alone
the lights in the room
they all fl!cker
(reminding me that i hate what i did to all of you)
but i’m fine
cause i’m sober
my life isn’t over
i’ll smile again
in a while with friends
and we’ll drink and we’ll laugh
i’ll swear was a blast
but by 1 am i’ll be alone in my house
crying to ghosts of my past

for a second i start to remember
my old house
in my room
all the drugs i’d consume
my body it misses the chaos
my son
and my sister
my ex who stayed cheating
my mom, swear she hates me
my best friend
my dad, still can’t talk about that
(can’t talk about that)
and i laugh
cause of these thoughts
i know they don’t last
and i’m back to the numb i was at
guess it’s better than the drugs in the past
the nights pills were all that i had
but i’m fine
cause i’m sober
my life isn’t over
i’ll smile again
in a while with friends
and we’ll drink and we’ll laugh
i’ll swear was a blast

- aspen elocin lyrics

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