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asswipe your political affiliation - pootie lyrics lyrics

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“do you struggle with meeting people?
are you about ready to give up on love?
well, hold your horses you s+xual opportunists!
you can find love for just $24.99 a month
with our brand+new dating app!”

“if your height doesn’t start with six
then don’t talk to me”
“if you make less than 60k then look the other way”
“if you got no ass and you got no tits
then my friends will think i’m gay”

these are the hurdles to gauge
while dating in the modern age
imperatives set by stoners
looking for a sot with a boat
but i don’t have a boat
and i don’t smoke

“drive fast, smoke grass, eat ass”
godd+mn, i think i’ll pass
“swipe your political affiliation”
i’m starting to lose faith in this nation
because you’re either too kind
or s+xually inept
attractive people have too many options
leaving the unprepossessing left
i want to be moved by words of amorous glee
not “short men matter, just not to me”

i’m at the end of my rope
my whole life is a joke
to h+ll with it, i’m dying alone

- asswipe your political affiliation lyrics

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