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augustine esterhammer-fic - the gates of olympus lyrics

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gates
of a still, guarded place
like the world looking out
through the flesh of a deer:
blank

god
how i want it to be
just to have something pierce
through me

and the weight of a past
that closes up behind me
leaves just look the same color as always
but i feel strange staring out
from an older self
looking at something always busy that
doesn’t need to make sense

there is no pattern
there’s only this
now this
now this
and gone

still
(on the opposite side)
things continue to grow
close
if i could reach out and feel
fall in love with a door
become something else…

the body starts to feel tired
but i’m not tired at all
if i could stay awake long enough
if i could keep my eyes open till the end
when it rushes in
i’d die for it

- augustine esterhammer fic lyrics

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