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aurelio voltaire - cantina (demo) lyrics

[intro]
two, two, three, four

[verse 1]
well i went down to mos eisley for a converter
h+ll, you know how hot it gets on tatooine
then i saw that there cantina
i’ll go in for an orangina
i heard it was rough but how bad could it be?
well i walked through the door and the music stopped, dead
all manner of man and beast were staring at me
seems just one week before
their twi+lex slave girl walked out the door
and i guess i was the next+best thing they’d seen

[chorus]
i lost more than my heart in that cantina
i left my manhood there on tatooinе
son, it don’t mean you’re weak
if you turn thе other cheek
but if ya spread ’em both for jabba, son, you ain’t a man

[verse 2]
old hammerhead, he fixed his mind to screw me
whipped out his tool and nailed me to the bar
my +n+s he destroyed, and now i got me hemorrhoids
with my guts hanging out my ass, i wasn’t goin’ far
i was hit over the head by ol’ han solo
i’d have never guessed that pirate was a h0m+
i woke up next to chewbacca, i was smeared in wookie caca
and what they did to my poor nipples was a no+no
[chorus]
i lost more than my heart in that cantina
i left my manhood there on tatooine
son, it don’t mean you’re weak
if you turn the other cheek
but if ya spread ’em both for jabba, son, you ain’t a man

[verse 3]
old salacious crumb’s so small you can’t detect him
before i knew it he shoved himself straight in my r+ct+m
and then, just to be heinous, he screamed real loud out of my +n+s
now i got an +n+l car alarm and i can’t disconnect ’em
oh greedo greedily grabbed his green weenie
and he yanked that sucker ’till it wasn’t so teenie
he took me into jabba’s hut, he stared intently at my b+tt
ha+ha+ha+ha+ha
then he oo+ta+too+ta’d me with his zucchini

[chorus]
i lost more than my heart in that cantina
i left my manhood there on tatooine
son, it don’t mean you’re weak
if you turn the other cheek
but if ya spread ’em both for jabba, son, you ain’t a man
take it away boys
[verse 4]
well a guy walked up and said “my friend doesn’t like you”
i said, “sorry”
he said “i don’t like you either ,you better watch yourself”
i think his name was tom waits
and then some old dude who taught vader chopped his arm off with a saber
but later made for one red hot +n+l invader, oh
i was broken on the floor, beat to a stuper
but then i was saved
there at the door were ten stormtroopers
but then my hope faded away
i didn’t know they cloned ’em g+y
and they each took turns stormtrooping me in the p++per

[chorus]
i lost more than my heart in that cantina
i left my manhood there on tatooine
son, it don’t mean you’re weak
if you turn the other cheek
which is why i still go there every week

- aurelio voltaire lyrics

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