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autumnboy - i never meant to hurt you lyrics

i lie awake, pondering it all
i never meant to hurt you, i never meant to hurt you
i lie awake, pondering it all
i never meant to hurt you, i never meant to hurt you

something that i’ve been learning more and more in life is that there’s more and more to learn about myself. that pain manifests even when i don’t know that it’s there and i have closets and upon closets with shelves of bottles upon bottles of problems. and those bottles break and smash when i dare to move, so god forbid i don’t stand still. i never should have let you in my closet in the first place. the labels on the bottles had been so worn that you and i couldn’t see what was in them. so i would break your bones every time we attempted walking in tandem. and i would put my hand to them, but standing alone in the dark is never a safe ordeal

believe me when i say it was subconscious, believe me when i say i didn’t want this. i am not malicious, i was just blind to witness myself tear you apart out of fear. dear, you are worth more than the addictions of a hypocrite, and you are worth more than residing where my broken heart sits. i hope the good in you is still glowing. and you have every reason to hate me, but please know i am growing. i never meant to hurt you

i lie awake, pondering it all
i never meant to hurt you, i never meant to hurt you
i lie awake, pondering it all
i never meant to hurt you, i never meant to hurt you

- autumnboy lyrics

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