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avarice the author - new feels 5 lyrics

intro, avarice:
(whispers + “new feels”)
pick another lady for the top, spot
yet another day
she thought i was gay, maybe never realised, when i look into her eyes, beauty made me wanna die

so i move on. onto the new girl, she could be my new world, playing with her hair
suddenly i care, where she is and what about her. but i could never fair because always i am scared i could never talk to, you

chorus, avarice & olawale ojo:
wherever you are, i cannot find you
whatever you dream of, i cannot seem to
no matter how far we go
i always end up back home

verse 1, avarice:
i’m losing the pigmentation in my skin
turning white is only where my newest chapter begins

i could never be the man the family wanted me to
i could only chase away their goals for my own values

every time i look in the mirror i can see that i am no longer who i or my family want me to be
instead i see the addict, or the f+ggot or the man who can’t shake his habits, because he is only one thing that is weak

and on my good days, i could never lie to you
because i already am up

but then on my bad days, i can look right past you
like i never was in love

its not how it seems, when i ghosting all your texts
i dont even know my ex, girl you know i love in l+st

i saw you in my dreams, you was dancing at the party
you don’t even know that i will never have enough

some days my hair is curly and other days its straight
sometimes i wake up up and look me in the face

and i can’t see the cultural hero that i always wanna be
even my own dna can’t see who is the real me

i can preach away my problems i can preach away the pain
writing songs about some b+tches, but i’m never getting laid

lately happiness has been a trial of grit and then some heart
i can be happy as long as i don’t confront who i was

know that when i stop singing, you know that its time to
hit the switch and finally can die

girl and when i stop singing, a v pass away
and my newest journey finally arrive

when you see my t++th, pearls are staring right back at you, know that avarice was prolly definitely high

please stay close to me, while im shaking my old habits
psychedelia was my own way of saying bye

chorus, avarice & olawale ojo:
wherever you are, i cannot find you
whatever you dream of, i cannot seem to
no matter how far we go
i always end up back home

wherever you are, i cannot find you
whatever you dream of, i cannot seem to
no matter how far we go
i always end up back home

verse 1, a$h dash
sometimes i question if these new feelings are too real
i thought about a waste of time and chasing new thrills
but still i never question faith in me to fulfil
always knew that i would have it never too ill
its like sh+t magnet, never ever watching me
till they saw me wearing two chain in your brain
let me get sh+t straight you could never ever walk with me
cause when i was getting busy, you spit me

it takes me back when i was lucid, the new kid
always honest but i never knew what truth is
or what you think, got me feeling stupid
now evil as h+ll thinking that people ain’t intrusive

cause i’m with shawty around that time i had a new revision
my hands were tight around her body like its true religion
i gain some habits f+cking up and acting co+dependant
had to take a lot and pray to find a new position

verse 2, avarice:
mullet headed now, shaved off all my sides
i lean away from culture cause i’m getting kind of white

the psychedelics sickening the brain the rotten part
i stop thinking with my head and started thinking with my heart

culture isn’t everything cause i am so much more
beat will always repeat then ill always count to four

a v is a symbol of my past but not the present
sahil is the gift that my parents always given

never said i love men, but i always knew
that the answer wasn’t that simple

and so when my hair grew, and they call me gay
i couldn’t help but take it personal

i saw him in my dreams, he was avoiding my eyes, then he looking at my thighs, like its his entire world

i’m noticing a theme, that im comfortable with men, but nothing can make me as nervous as a pretty girl

chorus, avarice & olawale ojo:
wherever you are, i cannot find you
whatever you dream of, i cannot seem to
no matter how far we go
i always end up back home

wherever you are, i cannot find you
whatever you dream of, i cannot seem to
no matter how far we go
i always end up back home

verse 3, avarice:
uh
pick+face is empty so go to the new location
i gapping you definetly but i can’t keep the retention
you can put me in detention to maybe keep my attention away from the b+tches and to my work

i flipping off the f+cking crowd the surface level villain
how come everybody say that avarice ain’t winning
im picking my winnings. im choosing when i start or when i stop like like right now, a v has had enough

pray for me, stay on me, curse on me god
you took everything i am and also everything i got
i could see the love before but now you stab me in the back
whitie’s telling me i’m black, brownies calling me a f+g

i could dance, i could rhyme, i could sing, i could try
to imagine a life, where the sounds of the drums are louder then the lead singer, but we live in a pop world so know that the prop girl can probably beat the winger

emphasis hypothesis, hypotenuse. tie a loose, and put him in it because he’s afraid of women and he can’t win and
on top of this, he says that theres no stopping this, eminem flow, but ho know that sicko psycho stop and stick around, come through and dig the sound

it takes a crazy man to listen. if you listen this far then tell me why must you hear my tone, but not my words, maybe i’m rapping to race, or maybe i never had an audience in the first place

last call on the frequency, crackle in the static, i’ve been chasing disguised self and i thought i had it reflections in the mirror, not sure who i see no more, succumb to the pigment fading, but my mind’s still fighting wars

lost lovers, lost colours, i lost myself in the change
but i built a voice from the rubble, my truth rearranged
tall skinny boy with the thick black hair and the can do attitude
but he had to stop rapping, he had nothing to prove

outro, avarice the author (recorded in 2023)
i hope you’re happy, happier than me
because i’m on the brink of death, and you guys should be happier than me

- avarice the author lyrics

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