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avoid. (us) - home lyrics

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will you linger with your spirit?
will you stay with me tonight?
my left hand behind my back
i will shake when i try
to force write pages and
expose myself a lie
and hide behind
portrayal through a character
that leads my life
did i exaggerate it?

when the ink runs out
what am i good for?
anything at all?
am i meaningless without this?
am i the boy that you wanted?
did i turn out the way you hoped?
was i a mistake?
a let down?
a pill that you can’t swallow?

we play pretend that we’re not real
intoxicate and then forget
salivating at the though
that self+abuse is masked respect
you were never there
i leaned on you the most
if the blood lacks a meaning
should i cut this rope?
place your hands around my neck
press hard until i choke
with a bottle at night i tried (i tried)
i thought i could honor your ghost

breathing life into my bloodline
a lesson learned an addict’s fear
one day the dosage spits me out
into a place i can’t disappear
but my body ain’t a temple
just a place to wash my sins
they don’t leave and i don’t pray
i will pay for forgiveness

and i’ll pay for the touch
we become what we create
and i’ve made a mess

pull me out of this spotlight
bury me under your floorboards
step on me
give me what i deserve
as my last request
burn every picture
and scatter my bones
when a storm comes and wipes out the foundation
you’ll find me in the dirt
this is home

- avoid us lyrics

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