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awakebutstillinbed - fathers lyrics

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i tried to be someone else to escape it all
it became an obsession, and i awoke in a world divorced from self;
a false reimagining of which i am the subject
shrouded in abstract conceptual intangibles
i know that i’m broken, and i play the part
why try to get better? i was born to tear myself apart
this lifelong dissonance, how could it mean nothing?
i become a concept inside of myself

all the failures of our fathers can’t define us
if all that weight fell on our shoulders, who could blame us?

i felt locked in a stigma beyond my control
and in my vulnerability, i am fed their words and i swallow them whole
promised a way out, and i sign a contract
a widespread mandate to suppress doubt
and push it all inside: my endlessly lost heart
and raging mind, just keep it all inside
but the shame and trauma, how could it mean nothing?
it lives inside of me, rebuilds and restarts

all the failures of our fathers can’t define us
if all that weight fell on our shoulders, who could blame us?
our anxieties and fears can’t control us
if all their thoughts fall on deaf ears

i erase these memories, and i try
to reconstruct myself to fit into this life
you might want to be someone else
but what good would that do though?
you might want to be someone else
but what good would that do though?

but what good would that do though?

if all this weight falls on your shoulders?

- awakebutstillinbed lyrics

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