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awakebutstillinbed - life lyrics

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i couldn’t get my life back
i couldn’t get my life back, i couldn’t save myself

all the words of my mother hang heavy over me
it’s summer in texas, 2003
i dissociate, the world around me fades
there is no self if there is no one else

so i isolate and suppress discomfort
and i sacrifice any shred of my own self-worth
while i put so much faith in my open eyes
i have never felt so lonely and desperate

i couldn’t get my life back
i couldn’t get my life back, i didn’t stand a chance

all the pain within my past weighs heavy on my heart
the euphoria won’t last, it’ll tear your life apart
i feel the same; the world around me changed
it is a mess, and i could not make sense

of this brave new world i navigate alone
or my hyper-vulnerability i now call home
’cause i put so much trust in their shifting words
and i have never felt so stupid and useless before

but it is all my fault
i never should have trusted them
it’s easy to smile and wave, to tell them one thing to their face
it’s hard to tell the truth
yeah, it is all my fault
but how could i have known that
what people call low self-esteem is really just seeing yourself
the way other people see you?

i couldn’t get my life back
i couldn’t get my life back
i couldn’t get my life back
i couldn’t get my life back

- awakebutstillinbed lyrics

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