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awksin - lidocaine lyrics

[verse 1]
i never told myself that i could be at risk
that night i cried, i tried to die because of what he did
but what am i supposed to say? i got raped
well, maybe that′s the case, but who’d believe me anyway?
all i know is i′ll just be a statistic
i’m not a wh0re, but the way he saw me was so simplistic
and as far as life goes, i’ll just make myself alone
echoes in my mind, “i just wanna go home”

[chorus]
i need a lidocaine repeat prescription
i still feel the pain lurkin′ in my system
maybe i′ll self+medicate with sertraline
i’m scared like halloween, i′m barely managin’
i′m lyin’ on the floor waitin′ for it to end
i finished treatment, what do i do when it starts again?
maybe i’ll self+sabotage habitually
cryin’ relentlessly, i swear i′m managin′

[verse 2]
court date in january, ’cause he wanted to lie
he stole everythin′ that i could ever claim mine
he changed, broke me, i couldn’t go out for days
i′ve never felt so f+ckin’ unsafe
all i know is i′ll just live with the trauma
there’s no way of undoin’ all the sh+t he put me under
and as far as pain goes, i feel it in my bones
i hope he remembers my begs to let me go home
[chorus]
i need a lidocaine repeat prescription
i still feel the pain lurkin′ in my system
maybe i′ll self+medicate with sertraline
i’m scared like halloween, i′m barely managin’
i′m lyin’ on the floor waitin′ for it to end
i finished treatment, what do i do when it starts again?
maybe i’ll self+sabotage habitually
cryin’ relentlessly, i swear i′m managin′

[outro]
oh+oh, i swear i’m managin′
i just wanted to go home

- awksin lyrics

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