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ayehittajay - a letter to you... lyrics

{verse 1}
we were only teens barely 16
you were in your bedroom while i was doing big things
we used talk about our dreams on the phone
till your mom comes home from work
we say our goodbyes
you try to get some rest
i stare at my ceiling
thinking about your voice through the
phone
how can i fall in love so fast
is this even real or is this a dream from the past
i start to wonder if you feel the same
“you’re different”
was the first thing you told me
in the morning when you opened up your
beautiful eyes
during school i can feel your presence
right beside me
i couldn’t stop thinking about you that day
you made me get phone taken by my bio teacher, remember that? (chuckle)
and remember how we told our moms about each other?
i remember you turning goth for a day
no matter what lifestyle you tried to fit into it always looked so good on you
remember how i saved your contact as “future wife”
how could i ever forget about our talks about running away together to some small town out in the country
faking our deaths and starting a family
you would’ve been such a great mom
and an even better wife
we both told our friends about each other
had each other in our instagram bios
fast forward about 3 months and we’re already not doing good
useless arguments
ignored messages and calls
i caused you so much stress you didn’t deserve
i can feel you losing interest
and don’t forget that facetime call we had where we cried together
i wanted to hold you so tight and never let go
you were my other half
we break up for a little
try to find someone new
now it’s june schools out
and you already met someone new
seeing you smile with him made me regret the hardships i put you through
july comes around and you blow up my phone the same way you blew it up when i didn’t reply after 10 minutes
it was around 2am you call me crying
i ask what’s wrong and you’re as silent
as a broken hearted girl
you eventually tell me that you’re sorry for everything
and that your man left you
2 years p-ss and i haven’t heard from you since 2 july’s ago
i’m about to get on stage and perform
have you forgot about me?
are you living a happy life with a new man
i walk onto the stage perform my music
towards the end i scan the crowd
surprisingly, i see you with the biggest smile on your face
i haven’t been the same without you and knowing you still support me inspires me to do my best
that night i stay with you inside your room
dimed lavender led lights barely light up your room in your attic
i remember you told me how much you loved it up there
it feels like we’re falling in love again

{verse 2}
7 years p-ssed and we finally have kids of our own
we buy a nice house in a small town in the midwest
just how you wanted
our kids eventually grow older and have their own kids
feel old yet sweetie?
we’re grandparents
now we’re stuck inside the hospital
lying on your deathbed i grab your hand
we start reviewing our life together
remembering all the fun times we had as teens
getting married
buying our first house together
everything seemed to go by so quickly
doctor walks in and tells us it’s time
you look me in the eye one last time
i start to feel your hand loose grip
as a tear slowly rolls down your eye
i will never forget you
and we say our final good byes…

{verse 3}
every now and again
i still visit your grave
just beyond the bench we used sit at late at night when we were reckless teens
n0body ever told you how much i loved you
i loved you more than love itself
i miss you…

- ayehittajay lyrics

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