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barbra streisand - if a girl isn't pretty lyrics

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funny girl is the life of vaudeville comedienne f-nny brice (1891-1951), starting in 1910.
actually the show starts after she has become a success on stage and flashes back to her
origins. it opens in f-nny’s dressing room. she is waiting for her husband, nick arnstein,
to return after being in prison. she looks back to when she was a 19-year old hopeful.
her mother’s poker buddies think she’s wasting her life trying to break into show business.
mrs. strakosh:
f-nny, when people pay good money in the the-ay-ter–
especially the male element–they want something to look at!

if a girl isn’t pretty
like a miss atlantic city,
all she gets in life
is pity and a pat.
mrs. brice:
is a nose with deviation
such a crime against the nation?
should i throw her into jail
or drown the cat?
mrs. strakosh, o’ malley and
meeker:
she must shine in ev’ry detail
like a ring you’re buying retail,
be a standard size that
fits a standard dress.
mrs. strakosh:
when a girl’s incidentals
are no bigger than two lentils
mrs. strakosh, o’ malley and
meeker:
then to me that doesn’t spell success.

f-nny auditions for keeney’s music hall but keeney kicks her out of the chorus
because she doesn’t look like the others.
eddie ryan, dance director for keeney, agrees:

eddie:
if a girl isn’t pretty
like a miss atlantic city,
she should dump the stage
and try another route.
any guy who pays a quarter
for a seat just feels he oughter
see a figger that his wife can’t
subst-tute.

kid, my heart ain’t made of marble
but your rhythm’s really horr’ble
and that map of yours just ain’t no
valentine.
everything you got’s about right,
but the d-mn thing don’t come out right
so forget it, kid,
and just resign.
chorus:
if a girl isn’t pretty,
if a girl isn’t pretty,
if a girl isn’t pretty,
if a girl isn’t pretty,
if a girl isn’t pretty,
she should get a job,
go get a job–
get any job
get a weekly pay,
’cause if a girl isn’t pretty
like a miss atlantic city,
she’s a real miss n-body, u.s.a.



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