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barbra streisand - if a girl isn't pretty lyrics

mrs. strakosh:
f-nny, when people pay good money in the the-ay-ter–
especially the male element–they want something to look at!

if a girl isn’t pretty
like a miss atlantic city
all she gets in life
is pity and a pat
mrs. brice:
is a nose with deviation
such a crime against the nation?
should i throw her into jail
or drown the cat?
mrs. strakosh, o’ malley and
meeker:
she must shine in ev’ry detail
like a ring you’re buying retail
be a standard size that
fits a standard dress
mrs. strakosh:
when a girl’s incidentals
are no bigger than two lentils
mrs. strakosh, o’ malley and
meeker:
then to me that doesn’t spell success

f-nny auditions for keeney’s music hall but keeney kicks her out of the chorus
because she doesn’t look like the others

eddie ryan, dance director for keeney, agrees:

eddie:
if a girl isn’t pretty
like a miss atlantic city
she should dump the stage
and try another route
any guy who pays a quarter
for a seat just feels he oughter
see a figger that his wife can’t
subst-tute

kid, my heart ain’t made of marble
but your rhythm’s really horr’ble
and that map of yours just ain’t no
valentine
everything you got’s about right
but the d-mn thing don’t come out right
so forget it, kid
and just resign

chorus:
if a girl isn’t pretty
if a girl isn’t pretty
if a girl isn’t pretty
if a girl isn’t pretty
if a girl isn’t pretty
she should get a job
go get a job–
get any job
get a weekly pay
’cause if a girl isn’t pretty
like a miss atlantic city
she’s a real miss n0body, u.s.a

- barbra streisand lyrics

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