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barnsley bill - wedding rap lyrics

i’m barnsley bill and i just don’t care
i can rap you out of your underwear
i’ve had 20 pints and i’m friggin’ drunk
so let’s get down some barnsley funk
the pinball pillock, have you seen?
he’s traded in his pinball machine
he’s out of tilts and into phases
’cause now he’s playing sp+ce invaders

so it’s one for the curry, six for the road
suck your ale up, drop your load
he can fold a newspaper
he’s a star, he’s the best man of the universe

all my life i’ve been waiting and watching
talking and drinking
and doreen said “how did you carry?”
and i realized, that it weren’t angrier
and i were waiting for her
and turned towards her and i popped the question, are they real?
what do you think?
i don’t think, i drink, therefore i’m drunk
i replied “take a look at these hands, and let the days go by, and keep the tetley’s flowing”

so it’s one for the curry, six for the road
suck your ale up, drop your load
i met your girl who drove a truck
she had a cb like the rubber duck
she was out on a convoy on m62
she had the biggest rig this side of crew
i was listening to [?]
and she said her uncle was living in [?]
i knew there was some life left in me
so i said 10+4, [?] for me

breaker, breaker, this is barnsley bill
anybody out there, 10+4?

breaker, breaker, this is barnsley bill
barnsley me’s name, something’s my game, it over?
ah, just a minute, it’s not plugged in

we stopped for motor washin’ at the service stop
janet, richard, meets the lot
bill she said, “i cannot tarry
i will rendezvous with birmingham barry”
i said ye live in [?] could support thee
but me yorkie’s melting, so off i’ll be
he can drive 70,000 miles a year
he’s a star, he’s the best man in the universe
he knows all the words to copacabana with his eyes shut
he’s a star, he’s the best man in the universe
he can eat three weetabix

when king kong came to see him, he ran
he’s a star, he’s the best man in the universe
he was born one of triplets
he’s a star, he’s the best man in the universe
he can run out of ideas
i’m a star, i’m the best man in the universe
i’m a sta+ well, i might be

- barnsley bill lyrics

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