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barstool sports - pat stay vs. dunsh compliment battle lyrics

[round 1: dunsh]
yo, i was gonna no show this battle
last night i was talkin’ to rone
he said, “you got some sh+t for pat?”
i said, “to be honest i don’t
worst writer’s block ever. i’m just not in the zone
worst writer’s block ever bro i gotta postpone
how could i disrespect my idol? i’ve been watching the throne
dreaming one day we’d be the next stockton/malone
from the elements league to when you bodied charron
cool white guy general, and i honor the code.”
rone was pushy, motherf+cker had me hot on the phone
i said, “i will not write a diss for pat. i’m not gonna go.”
he said, “but i told you. it’s a battle but with compliments though.”
i said, “well f+ck it i could kick that off the top of the dome.”
so off the head pat, that is an awesome head tat
and if it wasn’t for my pesky job i’d also get that
i’m thinkin’ jet black lettering with your last name on the side
so then more than one way i’d have pat stay on my mind
he’s a mad neighborly guy
i mean i wake up at 5:00 and he’s already waving in the driveway adjacent to mine
on a scale of 1 to 5, on a bad day you’re a 9
i think you only got braces cause you’re that straight of a guy
there’s a blueprint for this smooth sh+t and pat laid the design
he got a kotd fanbase but on smack stages he shines
he moonwalks with his boots on, i mean you can’t hate on the guy
the smoothest white guy ever, he does black face and it’s fine
if you think that’s racist you’re blind
he’s just nice like that
he’s a fan of unity so the black community will let it slide like that
be at a url event until some guy’s like, “smack, who’s the guy with the ‘white pride’ tat?”
and he’s like, “that’s my guy pat!”
look he glad right now
he about to ask me for a dance right now
he wants to give me a bear hug so bad right now
{pat gives dunsh a bear hug}

yo chill bro, what is in your pants right now?
i mean jesus christ is that a f+ckin’ flashlight? wow!
yo, ever since you put the crack pipe down you’ve been lookin’ cute
you went from free basing to free weights and he gettin’ p+ssy too
remember that line you said, “suge look at me and look at you
if i smoke crack that may be something you need to look into.”
well i took that sh+t to heart and i really listened to pat
and i’m still a little bit fat
but on the bright side i’m addicted to crack
time

[round 1: pat stay]
the headline main event
boy they got you in the top this time
look at you go
to be honest, i don’t know if you qualify
you’d usually be the undercard, if you’re taking this wrong i apologize
it’s a compliment
cause in the opening act you know i love me a bottom guy
now let’s go
pause
skinny guy d+ck
seen him in grey sweats and ain’t left my mind since
the outline thick like a neuroscience assignment
i ain’t g+y
but to this day i’m still confused as to why mine flinched
words that are written in terms and conditions
oh how i missed that fine print
pause
i first saw it in the men’s room i was having a p+ss
the station came galloping in
and just the fact that he picked the urinal right next to me when all the other rest were free is what had me convinced of this hammer of his
and just the stance he was in
arched back, hands on his hips
“how are ya?”
he turned so i glanced at it quick
i tried to look away but with that gigantic titanic there was no abandoning ship
all aboard!
aye aye captain
my submarine is under siege cause moby d+ck here hijacked it
and it actually says dunsh, psst, might need some eye glasses
or maybe it’s just hard to see through those long fluttering eye lashes
let’s f+ckin’ go!
yeeeeah, you’re a beautiful man
ears are like cute little clams
if i had those i’d just walk doin’ the hulk hogan move with my hand
got a c+ck you could use as a stand, takes up all the room in your pants
it makes dudes wanna move to j+pan
what can i say? you are a man
listen here ya little hunk
i’m about to expose the f+ck outta you
ahh, ladies, question
when one of your girls meets somebody new
what are the two things you ask?
“is he hung and what does he do?”
well ladies do i ever have something for you
he is a lawyer, in actual real life
“objection”
man, that must feel nice
a lawyer! and packin’ a steel pipe!
you be the judge i’m sure you’d grant his appeal, right?
come one!
big d+ck lawyer energy
imagine how hot his roleplay in the bedroom be
“so you don’t recall handling any large weaponry? huh
funny. perhaps this will refresh your memory.”
i mean, i’ve heard of a hung jury before but f+ck this guy is blessed with everything
and the interrogation’s over soon as he checks out that monster
once that hammer drops, case closed, no further questions you’re on her (your honor)
what a f+cking first impression when he met with her father
“so, what do you do?”
psst
straightens his tie, flexes his collar
“i’m a lawyer”
“oh wow”
“yep. pretty successful law firm
we cracked a few decent cases in there. not sure if you’re familiar with jeffrey dahmer
a couple side gigs here and there, you know
part time medical doctor, professional boxer
special ops, road ranger, [?] bomber, you know. odd jobs. hahaha.”
rich cackling with her pops
bond forming tighter than his immaculate windsor knot
i can’t even tie a tie you probably practiced it with your c+ck
of course he’d want a lawyer, you’d know exactly what gets her off
who wouldn’t?
unless she’s gone nuts
to miss the chance to get in the pants of f+ckin’ elon tusk
but i should probably stop cause they’re watchin’ the clock
this round was supposed to be short but it went as long as your+
pause
[round 2: dunsh]
first of all, you taught me how to tie a tie when i was five
so that angle ain’t workable
and as far as my d+ck, yeah we were at the same urinal
and let’s just say, those were fake personals
the nerve of you
knowing d+mn well that compared to yours my d+ck is stick stickly
his sh+t is thick thick chris christy
i swear to god y’all ain’t seen a hog this pretty since miss piggy
but if all you brought is that type sh+t then just accept that you lost
cause these are compliments and when everything you said to me is “pause”
then it’s tough to get the message across
and you’re right, i am a lawyer, but i ain’t never been soft
and f+ck my girl bro i specialize in gettin’ off
go ahead, try and pause me
quiet y’all my idol’s talking
i am standing right across from ryan gosling’s giant offspring
this guy’s been on a growth spurt that shows no sign of stopping
i’ve been watching use as a hula hoop any time that he can’t find a c+ck ring
i mean the size is shocking
father, actor, scholar, rapper
does it all wearing a blindfold with his eyes closed while walking backwards , i want some answers
i mean, i’m insecure as f+ck, but for you it’s not a factor
cause he’ll dance like no one’s watching
but everyone’s watching cause you’re an awesome dancer
i let my emotions get the best of me
sometimes i feel like you’re the host in this
cause you just opened up a cozy bed and breakfast crackin’ yolks and sh+t, jam and toast with it
maybe it’s crazy, maybe it’s just his openness
but what’s weird is he laughed until he got to share the leftovers with a homeless kid
but whatever you do, never confuse hospitable with weak
he cooked me eggs and then he kissed on my cheek
you wanna sleep at pats? let me tell you guys, the linen’s weren’t cheap
my man ain’t skimpin’ on the sheets
and the last six months of my life have been f+cked dawg, but now i’m workin’ with pat
i got his autograph and i might turn it into a permanent tat
you’re a f+ckin’ sl!ck rick gorgeous, luxurious, snack
no h0m+ but you got me feeling curious pat
i ain’t wanna get personal witchu, but you turned this to a personal issue
so don’t be disturbed if you’re in the middle of one of your verses i kiss you
i love you so much i took your own words and turned ’em against you
but in my third it continues
i got something that’ll perfectly fit you
pause
[round 2: pat stay]
be real for one second, whatever
i am a father, two beautiful kids, f+ckin’ adore them
i actually wanted another but my girl says we just can’t afford it
she got her tubes tied so she didn’t have to get pregnant and have an abortion
if i managed my life like yours did, she’d have more kids than a mormon
true story though
see, when i was in school i just ignored it
while you was buyin’ your books i was buyin’ chains and jordans
and raisin’ my son, his brain’s like a sponge it’s so absorbent
but i’m afraid i don’t have the knowledge to teach him what’s most important
that one question in life we all have that gets to us all
all the famous male statues, why were their d+cks always small?
who built them? maybe it isn’t their fault, maybe their chisel’s were dull
if only you could go back in history and give them your jaw
like oh my god bro
you could’ve designed apollo with ivory marble
look how defined your jawbone is, this guy’s a model
jesus christ, it turns into a knife every time you swallow
did i just hear a plane crash or did ivan drago bite a nacho?
you definitely drive a bronco
and that little stubble’s great
it’s five o’clock somewhere…yep,
what’s his age?
as a kid i was in love with trains
and a hint for you and your boys later, nothing’s changed
yeah, you got that energy i like
go from a gentleman to a rebel and just blend it in so nice
so elegant and poetic, if you read the sh+t you’d think he used a feather when he writes
yet so gangster with such conviction you’d think he sent it in a kite
and we know he ain’t like that
but how he says the sh+t, no one has questioned it twice
this dude is a chameleon, give him a role, he’ll play anything you like
he just molds into it like, “bro. your name’s kevin am i right?”

[dunsh] uh huh

[pat]
i’ve never met a kevin who looks more like a kevin in my life!
how’s he do it?
but your rap name is better
or maybe i’m bias because it starts with my favorite letter
listen, i’m straight as ever
i’ve been trying to make the effort to not look at his bulge but the way that pipe’s bursting i can’t take the pressure
he move like this
and for a minute straight it just kept danglin’
could fight a python and strangle it
jada smith, they’d have an entanglement
will let august bang his b+tch
sw+ng on chris
you’re listening thinkin’, “what do those have to do with his danglin’ d+ck?”
they both keep swingin’ and swingin’
bro i just wanna take it all in
…the moment, this moment
jesus christ. you guys are so g+y. seriously
i just want to take it all in, cause honestly i’m such a fan bro
the only thing better than watching you battle is the thought of you bobbing for apples
i know i’ve talked about his c+ck to much, i tried to stop it i can’t though
do not disturb sign, the way it hangs is off of the handle
now i didn’t wanna get personal with you
but you made this a personal issue
it takes two to tango
and that’s the dance i plan on working with you
i know you’ll be fine learning the hip moves, but the twirling’s the issue
not that i think you can’t do it, it’s just every time you turn i will miss you
and you talked about my braces, so i gotta think of a bar on the spot
well that should be easy
i have braces so you know i’m sharp off the top
i got something tucked in my belt, i ain’t armed with a glock i’m hard as a rock
time

[pat talking] pause you guys. you guys are soooo g+y. oh my god bro
[dunsh talking] relax. seriously. it’s like every line get taken the wrong f+ckin’ way
[pat talking] jesus. it’s called lyricism
[rone] round three it’s on dunsh
[pat talking] you guys are f+cked

[round 3: dunsh]
yo, can i tell you guys a story that i think really demonstrates this man’s character, like for real
can i do that? are y’all with me?
alright check it out
my last battle versus bill i had a panic attack
no exaggeration y’all i couldn’t actually rap
i got cooked to f+ckin’ sh+t by half the fans in the chat
it was supposed to be a classic man, how tragic is that?
i thanked organik for the look, did a vanishing act
i never said what happened next but this is actual fact
i walked directly into traffic and laid flat on my back
and at that exact moment here comes pat on my jack
i picked it up, and at first i thought i made a mistake
cause he said, “panic attack huh dunsh? you didn’t say you were g+y.”
sounds messed up, but he’s the reason i can face it today
cause you made me laugh about it, and that made it okay
and there’s still a lot of sh+t that i’ve been going through lately
but the fact that you set that time aside to phone me was crazy
so all jokes aside bro i wanted you to know that it changed me
and i will never in my life forget the moment you saved me
…or the b+n+r it gave me
pat stay
this man can brighten any man’s day
whip your ass in basketball then make you pancakes
pat stay
every single lady’s plan a
y’all heard of a sausage party? all of his parties are clam based
pat stay, what do y’all figure pat weigh?
the size of two men, his pr+nouns are he/they
pat stay
heard you’re anti+vax aye?
he’s like, “this mandate is trash.”
i said, “you had me at “man+date”
is that g+y?
and i say this sh+t just playin’ around
but he’s been treating me like a piece of meat and y’all see how degrading that sounds?
cause to me it’s more than just skin deep
the way i feel about stay is profound
so i was framing my rounds and picturing us sayin’ our vows
bro i f+ckin’ love you
for more than that face and those abs
it’s in your mind it’s in your spine, it’s in the way we hold hands
you are my everything, you’ve given me a strength i don’t have
we have walked through life together and paved our own path
and i have heard the disbelievers who say it won’t last
but they have yet to see our chemistry, the way we both laugh
how you provide for me so i could be a stay at home dad
a role model, y’all know what i call stay at home? dad!
you’re an inspiring dude, my f+ckin’ idol my muse
you are a shining ray of hope through all the mire and gloom
we shared a hotel together, i was tryin’ to snooze
but couldn’t sleep a f+ckin’ wink because you light up the room
and i’ve been dyin’ to say this
bro i’m likin’ the braces
for a man of our age i think it’s kind of courageous
and if i was your dentist i’d advise other patients
to wear a mask and keep their distance cause your smile is contagious
bro you’ve been my idol for ages
since you kicked in the door, you’ve been a savage with the style without no christian diors
so even if you win this battle i’m still winnin’ the war
because i came to see the nicest and i’ma give you the floor

[round 3: pat stay]
bro, no, no girls my age give a f+ck how big or tough that i am
muscular, tan, tats, gold chains, the most luxury brands
you just wear whatever’s comfortable because you’re a comfortable man
and you understand that that all means nothing without a structure or plan
and you don’t care about money or fame, just you yourself is good enough
he chose the dinner with jay+z…huh, and stood him up
while i’m worried about lookin’ tough and havin’ some gangster image
your life has so much stability you could’ve done this in plank position
and listen
real sh+t
think of some of the most dangerous leaders in history, kay?
hitler, hussain, kim jong+un…littlest frames
it’s never the big guys like me
movies, cartoons, video games, who’s the bosses?
f+ckin’ mr. burns, dr. evil, krang
see it’s the smart ones who lead the gang
shredder could beat up krang, he’d be n0body (no body) without him
but he needs him cause he’s the brains
see what i’m sayin’?
and that’s him
you charge him, you’ll be okay
he’s a lawyer, don’t need no legal aid
he’ll beat it either way
don’t need to touch you, got dudes who owe him favors that he don’t need to pay
he’ll sic(k) people for free like dr. sebi treating aids
this is the biggest gangster in here
he just stores it and hides it
a wise man once told me, that the more “normal” that the guy is
the more morbid and violent and distorted his mind is
he inspired me to become a bouncer
because he said it’s dormant (door man) inside him
but i like a man with a little edge…ucation
organized, morning time, once he hops out of bed he makes it
he has zero unread messages
dudes diligent, dedication
a handyman, chefs amazing
and you’ve got to see kevin baking (bacon)
you are a dime bro
side bowls are fresh thymes pine cones
court rooms, sport suit, fresh hair sl!cked with a fine comb
suitcase, i don’t even know where you buy those
my life coach
and you’re only moving forward like a rhino’s
side note
there’s a little secret that i know
you lost to bill collector on purpose, don’t even lie bro
you knew that he needed that money more, he’s never once in his life choked
but then against bill he blanked (billy blanks), i guess this guy knows tae bo
c’mon!
he stood there with his finger to his ear like that
cause bill’s struggle stories were hard to hear, you were feeling bad
the humble man, gave him a 100 grand, how real is that?
deleting your data history, you could’ve cleared the cash (cache)
just the fact that you even do this sh+t, while having a career like that
that full luscious head of hair you have yet you still wear a hat
this sh+t isn’t even fair
to just be your reflection and staring back
because the only compliment battle you could lose is a mirror match
the nicest
and that’s you young man

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