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bart baker – closer (parody) lyrics

[verse 1]

hey
do you remember me?
i used to date you
i make music now, with this weird dude
let’s bang, ok
i, forgot how good having s-x with you was
on these mattresses we stole from your roommate
last night was a-ma-zing
when i’m with you i feel like i’m not aging
yeah, i fell the same
‘let’s get back together so we’ll never age yeah
let’s make a song about that
can you sing?
why yes, i can

[chorus]
why don’t we call it closer
and make it about that rover
that you never could afford
’cause you’re poor
hey, don’t be a jerk
also, let’s add a dumb lyric
’bout that mattress that we stole
it has a really bad odor
we puked on in back in boulder

[instrumental music plays]

number 1, it’s our song closer
famous singers don’t get older

[verse 2]

hey
our song has been #1 for ten years
and we still haven’t aged a day, weird
that is so great
yes
we still look young, our lyrics came true
even though we chain smoke and drink booze
e-ver-y-day
its 2046
we ain’t gettin’ older but you look like sh-t
d-cks
now our old friends
are growing bald and gray and getting saggyt-ts
but we still both look super hot
and still have a huge hit song

[chorus 2]

enough of this delusion
based on lyrics in our music
you’ve been brainwashed by our song
he’s right, i am here to prove it
take these meds, they’ll make you lucid
they’re anti-delusional
you have both been getting older
this dream world of yours is over
but this can’t be
our song closer, said we’re never getting older
i’m here to repo your rover
you can’t afford it
i told her
hand’s up dirtbags, don’t come closer
is that your mattress from boulder?
yes it is, i am the owner
you jerks stole it
we weren’t sober!
you’re going to jail forever
by the way, you all have lung cancer

- bart baker lyrics

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