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bart baker - the monster (parody) lyrics

[hook 1: rihanna]
i’m friends with a monster, his name’s eminem
going to take a journey inside of his head
i’m trying to save him don’t fight this process
have you seen inception?
yeah, we stole that conception

[verse 1: eminem, dr. dre & rihanna]
i’m inside my brain trying to find out my true freak, you see
need to reveal the real me
do you think that this elevator’s an antique?
i think i’m going to get motion sick, excuse me
looks like i ate cake and tacos too and there’s mom’s spaghetti
knees weak, palms are sweaty, wrong song you deadbeat!
now i see me, wait this is confusing
why do i look like a baby?
it’s the birth of slim shady
don’t you see?
you and dr. dre created me
get me out of here riri
oh sh-t, he woke up, time to hit him back to sleep
godd-mn, i’m back in this weird dream
i’m beginning to think that rihanna is not a real shrink
you should just listen to me
do drugs, bash g-ys
hate on boy bands, and always be angry
here’s some pills to help you think

[hook 2: rihanna]
em should get a sponsor, he’s such a pill head
maybe from vicodin, valium or ambien
he’s always so p-ssed off, he can’t catch his breath
eminem calm down please
stop with all the yelling

[verse 2: eminem, yodelling dude & elton john]
flashback to my wigger mindset
i look like i stole somebody’s over-sized ups outfit
and freebased in it
and on top of all of that cr-p
i’m wearing a doo-rag and can’t control my hands
cut me slack i was trailer trash
yodel-odel-ay-hee-hoo!
who the h-ll’s this f-ggot -ss dude yodelling?
dude i don’t know, it’s your weird -ss dream
i’m here elton john the g-y pianist
you’re still using that word? time for you to pay
come here give me a kiss. oh no, my toupee!
without that stupid wig you look cute actually
can i please suck your d-ck?
what the h-ll’s happening in my head?
why did i just offer dome to a g-y guy?
if i’m relaying what the voice in my head’s saying
i really am disturbed

[hook 3: rihanna & eminem]
marshall’s on a roof now, how did that happen?
pretty sure that elevator was descendin’
i guess his messed up head can’t tell direction
whatever, never mind, back to the storyline
this song’s almost over, this must be the end (whatever is)
whatever is in that box must be his demon (wait, what the)
wait, what the f-ck it’s a giant m&m (you dumb-ss)
you dumb-ss, don’t you see? this is your destiny
set yourself free!
ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

[outro: eminem]
cause i’m a candy, yes i’m a man candy
now my rap name finally makes sense to you and me
moral of the story kids, don’t do drugs
don’t do drugs, don’t do drugs
cause i’m a candy, yes i’m a man candy
now my rap name finally makes sense to you and me
moral of the story kids, don’t do drugs
don’t do drugs, don’t do drugs

[child 1 & child 2]
who the f-ck is this guy?
i don’t know, my stupid mom hired him

- bart baker lyrics

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