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barton carroll - shadowman lyrics

[intro]
la da+dum, la da da dum
la da+dum, la da da dum

[verse 1]
i laid in the schoolyard with my face in the sand
there were bruises on my neck from an angry bully’s hand
but when you came out to meet him, he was runnin’ like a deer
and you said, “your brother’s here”
and you’d think i’d be happy that you were lookin’ out for me
but how great you were and small i was was all that i could see
and a younger brother’s envy bored its way into my heart
and it was just a start
and the old man always thought that you were the one
in our father’s eyes you were an only son
i lived in fear but you took it like a man
when a disciplined hand came down

[chorus]
there’s a hole in my heart and it won’t close up
i’d love you if i didn’t hate you so much
oh, brother of mine, i’m livin’ in a long, dark shadow
la da+dum, la da da dum
la da+dum, la da da dum

[verse 2]
and in the war, you were fierce bravado
all the while, behind you, in the mud, i cowered
we both made it home, but on you they shone the light
and it was only right
and i had so many girls and pretty ones too
but the only one i wanted, i only wanted you
and in the summer pines you put a ring upon her hand
and i was your best man
[chorus]
there’s a hole in my heart and it won’t close up
i’d love you if i didn’t hate you so much
oh, brother of mine, i’m livin’ in a long, dark shadow
la da+dum, la da da dum
la da+dum, la da da dum

[verse 3]
as years went by, i dreamed of ways to put you in your place
when your wife and child were seein’ a new darkness in your face
and in the brown+eyed gaze that had been steadfast and strong
there was somethin’ wrong
and the confusion i was feelin’, no tongue could ever tell
when the doctor came into the room and said, “he won’t get well
there’s a cancer in his brain and swarm upon his cells
and it won’t be very long”

[chorus]
and all this time
i have been drunk on this obsession of mine
where were you in all that madness?
where was i? la da+dum, la da da dum
la da+dum, la da da dum

[verse 4]
i pray to the lord above for my soul to save
when i look down at your body and they placed you in your grave
my life has been a measure tryna live up to your fate
and now i’ll have to wait
and tears from your woman’s eyes were fallin’ like rain
and i reached my hand out to her, but it all turned out in vain
she looked at me and said, “no girl can ever k!ll the pain”
and she turned her face away
[chorus]
there’s a hole in my heart and it won’t close up
i’d hate you if i didn’t love you so much
oh, brother of mine, i’m livin’ in a long, dark
oh, brother of mine, i’m livin’ in a life of shadows
la da+dum, la da da dum
la da+dum, la da da dum
la da+dum, la da da dum
la da+dum, la da da dum

- barton carroll lyrics

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