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basementality battles - dizaster vs henry bowers lyrics

[round 1: henry bowers]
some people see this match up as a true surprise
and some stupid guys claim my wit was no match for your ruthless style cause you’re so doe or die
but i too can try to go on and on
’bout how you can find me at your house with my pajamas on
[?] covered in parmesan
and your mom is on her knees cause i force feed her tons of c-m all during ramadan
and in the end i had to bend the dumb slut up off me
turn to diss like, “shut the f-ck up gaddafi! and get me a hot cup of coffee!”
of course that would be a lie and not quite my style
now let me spit some real talk shit for awhile
i’m swedish and norwegians are from fjord to fjord i got a smorgasbord of naughty broads
and i know you get impressed by them cause where you from everyone with some estrogen
gets suppressed and then gets arrested when
they’re not fully and completely dressed in tents
now that’s some messed up shit, eat some excrement
you arabian f-ggot!
i pack dynamite, i’m the kinda guy who might talk trash
and when it’s time to fight i’ll arrive on sight in a guy fawkes mask
cause indeed i am better, always leave the same letter
not a v for vendetta but a t for “trendsetter”
and in big block letters, “sc” for “spend cheddar”
[?] it’s golden, mics ignite when i hold ’em
i’m your master and dizaster won’t even strike when he’s bowling
i know it hurts inside that your worthless life
is exactly like that middle eastern nursery rhyme
my mother is a crack wh-r-, my father drives a tractor
i make love to my brother through the back door
now i’m soon done with my round leaving y’all stuck with this clown
rapping badly crafted and poorly orchestrated
in the same boring way we always hated
d-mn, change your behavior, i mean lord and savior
audience, let me do y’all a favor and tell y’all to think of something else just to p-ss the time
use your imagination while he raps his rhymes
imagine flying cars in the sky it ain’t hard if you try
and i’ll be back in flash just like marty mcfly

[round 1: dizaster]
wow henry..muammar gaddafi
get you a hot coffee
that sounds a lot of shit talk coming from someone who looks like rob zombie
really? you gon’ make fun of me for being a terrorist?
call me an arabian, like that’s so f-cking g*nius
you gon’ pander to the crowd make me look like an outsider cause you into f-cking sucking p-n-s
and these people are friendly, this is not the morals your country teaches
cause you guys welcome all races
you got love for all faces
so don’t let the hatred come between us
cause if y’all co-sign this piece of shit, you go against everything that makes you swedish
you know what? i think about it this way
you guys play on my race and that shit is played out to the bone people
i’m just saying you and norway try to make us look like arabs are so evil
but you had a terrorist attack in the last six months and you blamed it on one of us
and after all of the fuss, it turned out to be one of your own people
there’s nothing you can do to me, i’m taking my opportunities this year
there’s nothing you can do to me i’m here
i said it’s weird trying to figure out your impurities but still it’s clear
when you look in the mirror, you try to steer away from your insecurities in fear
and that’s why there’s no f-cking way we’ll see the day he removes his beard
someone’s gonna lose in here
when i eat i use a spoon…you use a spear
this ain’t something that i usually do
i’m in sweden keeping it cool, but as soon as you appear
i’ll jump up and remove a pubic hair from your useless rick rubin beard
then give it to a religious jewish dude as a souvenir
then you said something about how you’re the lord and savior
but you’re not just because you image of the son of god our savior
you look more like okwerdz if he lost his razor
protesting outside like, “don’t hurt the trees.”
god i hate ya, “don’t. no we should not use paper.”
who the f-ck are you supposed to be? father nature?
you told dirtbag dan, i remember you said, “norway has a lot of oil” you said that to dan in his bars
i went and researched your oil reserves, it ain’t that really large
i mean you f-ggots barely have enough to gas up your cars
oh, you don’t think you’re low on oil?
well guess what, by arabic standards you are!

[round 2: henry bowers]
okay, that terrorist, that was one of us, that was true
that just proves that we can do it too!
christmas is coming up and i got a letter from dizaster
the other day, i opened and read it, here’s what he had to say
“dear santa, could you please get me a sex change cause i feel i badly need this
cause people laugh at me cause i don’t really have a p-n-s.”
despite my santa beard i’m not in the wish list business
so i dismiss miss diz’
and it’s safe to say that i’ll break your face
with my battler of the year trophy that i use as a paper weight
then i watch you fade away when i slice a major veins with that razor blade i stole from your lady shave
and the doctors be like, “quick, get him on the table
and get some jumper cables
if his heart rate is ever gonna resemble something stable.”
now you’re getting what you paid for, remember i was able
to body bag mc’s when he was resting in his cradle
and he’s got that terrorist image
and he travels a lot but actually
the main reason for all his travelling, is not his battling
truth is every time he’s walking through customs he dreams of getting strip searched
a manly hand down his pants, get the picture?
“sir, has someone else packed your bag?”
he’s like, “well, not my ruck sack
but someone might’ve snuck some c4 up my back door last time i got my fudge packed
[?] worth it if you stuck your finger up my -ss and searched it.”
and when they interrogate him about al-qaeda’s new location
he waits for them to rape him with great antic-p-tion
like, “that electricity you’re putting on my nipples really tickles me
we could do this all day, but i -ssume it’s foreplay.”
and they are getting sick of dizaster, always smuggling shit up his -ss and he’s trying to quit
but it’s in his nature, i guess it seems cruel
but p-ssing a clean stool just doesn’t seem to be in his gene pool
you can’t fight your instincts and i actually need to say
it’s not the only time you lost a battle to dna
that post battle interview was a bit of a marathon
he didn’t say much but you rambled on
that’s some serious adhd but you know what help your situation?
if you take your medication!
and f-ck infinity, i’m a street smart winner
and you get 8/ate sideways like some retard’s dinner
when you told dna you were the prince of persia that’s when you truly lost
see that was on point, cause you be soft (ubisoft)
well anyway, apart from all of that when you and arsonal were battling
he went on and on and smashed it
but all for naught the fact is
that diz’ knew he was in for a rape that’s when he called the cops so they could save his -ss

[round 2: dizaster]
after i said that shit you’re still going on about the arabic shit
godd-mn it i can’t even call you a racist or a white supremacist
cause if i took off your hat put on a turban you’d look like one of my relatives
i’ll make fun of myself so now you feel like you left out
i’ll jab you with the right and the left brow
cause mc, i got the best style
you look like you grew up on a farm and own a pet cow
they say osama bin ladin is dead, how?
i heard he got plastic surgery to look like a white guy with dreads, wow
this whole thing is starting to make so much sense now
everyone across the world knows you as dirtbag dan’s counterfeit
how do you feel now knowing he doesn’t amount to shit
that thing on your face is hideous
i don’t even know why you’re so proud of it
you’re not even a human with a beard
you’re just a f-cking beard with a human growing out of it
it seems like we’re not going to get along but i really had some hope for us
but i can’t hear anything you’re saying right now cause your beard’s so loud it’s f-cking yelling over both of us
i’m not playing henry it’s fact you’ll get your skeleton smashed
and your chest will be shattering
i’ll put your leg in a cast, your head in your lap and put an end to your babbling
i’ll level you flat, i’m on a different level of battling
i’ll show up- intersecting your path with a javelin
show up where ever you at and like a basketball ref i’ll check you in traveling
i’m nothing less than a savage
so cross me and expect the level of damage is
to exceed what the jews did to the shepard of nazareth
look at him
depressed and he’s sad, he’s mad again, he’s not getting no -ss again
they fired him from [?] for another one of his reckless shenanigans
they caught him in a restroom having sex with mannequin that looked like jennifer aniston
and they caught him red handed and he said, “what? i don’t have any friends.”
get it? i don’t have any friends
homie, everything about you is fake
you’re from a town called uppsala
wait, that wasn’t even the punchline
wait, i was trying to say, he was from uppsala and that’s why he’s fake
cause uppsala sounds like one big f-cking mistake
homie, how you gonna look like a rasta, homie i’ll shoot ya
you ain’t have the image of a rasta cause you never smoke zutla
with your boombayeh
yeah, yeah
{machine gun noise}
(in garbled swedish:) nu är det krig mammaknullare!

[round 3: henry bowers]
okay, shut the f-ck up, that’s what you oughta do
you said i could be one of your relatives
and i don’t mean to bother you but i’m your father luke
and i got that dumbledore beard and my master plan
is to lock your silly -ss up in azkaban
so next week there’ll be no battle up in amsterdam
and that’s my big “f-ck you” to all dizaster fans
and i usually have no fear, i pack gear like a armed soldier
and of course you couldn’t trim my beard with a lawn mower
but last night i had a serious talk with my facial hair
cause i discovered something that actually made me scared
i was like, “that’s it! right now. that’s it! time out
stop this madness right now
i was in your room the other day and i was sad to find out
that on the walls you had autographed posters of dizaster’s eyebrows.”
and i’ll damage you cause i got the attitude of patty hughes
i have no rules and people show me gratitude
cause after you’ve been hacked in two
and absolutely no one out there will hear another rap from you
finally dizaster through and that’s the truth
i know talk is cheap but i often hear
that this odd and queer slop appears to have had some pretty f-cked up job careers
here let me share some details from ’em
he started working as a mail/male man ended up a female woman
yeah i know, that was low
then him and okwerdz joined the fire brigade but i don’t know
all the other firemen kept referring to them as the “fire hoes/hose”
and then he started working as a chip n dale
but left all the women’s faces looking sick and pale
now he’s looking for sponsorship but that ship has sailed
man your career fell so hard it showed on the richter scale
a “bad rap has been” that’s a title that suits ya
sure you have written battle history, i’m writing the future
you need to quit and let go, you’ve been shit from the get go
plus when you’re not battling you look like you listen to techno
sure, we’ve seen your battle vids, dressed all baggy and black
and to top it all off, twist your cap to the back
we wanna talk to diz’ at the after party you need to prepare well
or you might just p-ss out by the mere smell of his hair gel
he suddenly acts like a brat now where did that f-cker come from?
he’s like, “a tight shirt might work but the top b-tton’s undone.”
if he’s ever packing aerosol i -ssume it’s hairspray
(first part said in swedish) din discoturk! google translate!
so when the battle is over, rumors have [?]
we’ll get to see the b-tch in you; super metroid

[round 3: dizaster]
ayo, homie, you are not the past and you’re definitely not the future
you wanna diss me in swedish? well i can do it too
(speaks arabic) (kos imak agho sharmoota)
look pussy, one thing that i know for certain
that i would rather own a turban and be known as persian
than smell like no detergent
spoken word-you’re a virgin
you know what sucks the most about you looking so much like a homeless person
is even if you got employed you still wouldn’t have no clothes to work in
i would never give you a fair chance
battling me is the actual dare
mainly cause of the fact that you wear vans
you got the swag of a p-ssenger on air france, you a square
he got that prepared stance, that i’m aware
but i ain’t scared fam’
i was trained to k!ll a man with my bare hands
f-ggot you scared, call me an “arab”
i’m f-cking your b-tch bare back on a prayer mat in the middle of madison square
examples have to be there
and i said that you were the number one in sweden, i lied
and i did that cause i can
you have one more mission to complete before we call you king of this land
so there’s no way on earth i’d ever respect this mc as a man
until he mans up and does a rematch with shazaam
homie, how f-cking wack are you?
bro, i don’t even have to chat with you
look what i’ma do right now, i’ma drop the writtens and go off the top and battle you
you f-cking suck so much there’s nothing you can do
you try to say you’re my father luke, well f-ck you too
let me tell you something, you wanna talk about fathers
well i wasn’t gonna talk about fathers
that something i wasn’t gonna intend to say
but i’ma do it, but not in a bad light
really that’s not what i intend to say
cause i was trying to help him get off of alcohol, i hit him up everyday
but no matter how close i got, he was always twelve steps away
i seen that battle where that dude said you beat your woman
yeah, you beat your wife?
i heard you f-cking picked her up and shook her
i heard you f-cking beat her on the head with a stick
kicked her down a staircase and you pushed her
i guess when she told him, “henry take me clubbing”, he completely misunderstood her
but he’s a caveman, so he naturally stays away from sight
i couldn’t even tell you what his social game is like
if someone p-sses him a lighter right now he’d look at it like a strange device
one day his homie gave him some great advice
he told him, “henry it’s not too late to change your life
you could shave, get up, get a job and make it right.”
so he finally got his shit together, put on his favorite suit
open up the door was like, “i can’t take the light!”
going back to how you beat your b-tch, that shit really pisses me off
you get ripped whenever, yeah you’re still a caveman
so when you and your homies wanna stay warm in the winter weather
you huddle up and create fire by rubbing your sticks together
so, imagine you beating that woman, with her dad, he can’t even sleep at night
i mean if you really beat your wife and that’s something that happens in real life
then god gave you a daughter as karma so when she grows up and has a husband that beats her you can know what it feels like

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