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bclops - on the bench lyrics

[verse 1]
i didn’t realize how bad i was
how sad i was
that i’d been such an -sshole
and the right you had to be mad because
i had your heart and broke and bruised it
overused it and confused it
ashamed to say i was surprised
it took so long for me to lose it
but when you held it up in front of me
i was stunned to see
the place my face should be
instead reflect grotesque monstrosity
appropriately horrified and mortified
i looked inside, destroyed
when our receipts matched
and all my sins were immortalized
my ensuing spewing of contrition
sneered at as self-crucifixion
picked at as self-serving fiction
bit by b-tchy benediction
heard you real well
if i may paraphrase
we’re permanently parting ways
you say there’s nothing to be saved
victim of my d-ckishness
then subject to my histrionics
our time together worth less
than the byproducts of high colonics
and as regards our memories and victories
and ecstasies, all these
just fever dreams
vivid visions from a dead disease
i agree, and not sarcastically
but drastically, emphatically
you really saw the rest of me
you really nailed me to a t
sad and sick and stupid
and i’m scared ’cause this is me
and i’m makin up my mind
to never let the scene repeat
pull the sign down, k!ll the lights
close the door, lock it twice
i know that it was meant
in spite
of that, i’m taking your advice
and i

[hook]
guess i’ll be alone for now
i guess i’ll be alone for now
i guess i’ll be alone for now
i guess i’ll be alone for now

i guess i’ll be alone for now
i guess i’ll be alone for now
i guess i’ll be alone for now
i guess i’ll be alone for now

it’s raining, it’s pouring
it’s raining, it’s pouring
it’s raining, it’s pouring
it’s storming, it’s boring

it’s raining
it’s raining

it’s raining

[verse 2]
living on the bench
i’m drenched in sweaty insecurity
terrified of mr. hyde
my odious impurity
obscurity is preferable
to being known a beast
loneliness inevitable
but better than a leash at least
in isolation, on indefinite vacation
taped in wasted insulation
where i’m slowly maceratin

cause it’s raining
it’s raining

then a sudden gust rips off the shutters
kicks the door in, strips the covers
as we get to know each other
raise full sails and break the rudder
open sea and open season
need feeds hope and hope beats reason
dreamin and believin
that this pleasin teasin leads to squeezin
and sure i’m talkin t-tties
but i’m also talkin heart, not smart
to tour you through the huge backstage
‘fore the concert even starts
like farts in bed, too intimate
to hope you could get into it
we’ve barely met, neck’s red and wet
like after pics of antoinette
desperate to demonstrate
i’m not a heartless reprobate
i send and spend and bend too much
i overcompensate
and i stay over at your house
but i stay over on the couch
lay this tape over my mouth
and paper over all my doubts
like maybe you’re not worth this
i maybe don’t deserve this
like maybe i’m not worthless–
wrong, i’m cursed and worse, i’m nerveless
bclops with that pixies look
searchin for his missin mind
lips stiched up with fishin hooks
and future full of fishin line
dragged along the bottom
from the winter into autumn
god i’m toothless and i’m useless
an amuse-bouche best forgotten
rottin out while i pretend to wait
for a train i know is never comin
bottom out, resigned to fate
while raindrips drop a beatless drummin
if it gets any colder, then i’ll moulder lost in snow
no kind of grace but dis
’cause i don’t have another option so

[hook]
i guess i’ll be alone for now
i guess i’ll be alone for now
i guess i’ll be alone for now
i guess i’ll be alone for now

i guess i’ll be alone for now
i guess i’ll be alone for now and always
i guess i’ll be alone for now
i guess i’ll be alone for now

- bclops lyrics

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