beans - air hatch lyrics
half the fun of being @ von around the summer of 2009
is standing outside w/ my dj, jason, the bouncer
cracking jokes and rating all the pretty girls that are
going up and down bleeker to indulge in alcohol
and bad decisions. what also attracts
most people to von had to do with the italian
restaurant next door named bianca
george, the owner, used to travel back and forth
between both places bringing food to customers
at von or announce to patrons awaiting a
table if one had opened. a year later, rent increase caused bianca to close
one timе, we’re standing outside and gеorge
who grew up in the bronx, may’ve been short
in stature but long in character, also possessed the
rarity of being a true new yorker. george
always kept us entertained w/ stories for days
comes up to us just as jason and i had just
finished laughing. george comes and goes
“look, i can pop lock!!!”
robotic animated jittery movements ensue
what makes it more of a riot is that he
wasn’t laughing
“one time, i battled mr. freeze of the new york
city breakers.”
jason asked, “oh, yeah, what happened?”
“the kids in my neighborhood beat him up
and stole his sheepskin.”
we start dying laughing
“d+mn, george is gorilla hood.”
he starts to tell us a story that another
patron, nick st. george, told him about
when he was in family court about this
jamaican couple standing in front of the
judge. the woman tells the judge that she
should keep the baby because she’s the
mother. the judge looks at the guy
now george, in the worst imitation jamaican
accent says, “judge, if i put a quarter
in a coke machine and it comes out, is it
the machine’s or is it mine?”
as he was finishing this story
this crazy dude’s running up to random cars
begging for change. he’s mostly around
on the weekends but i guess today is
an exception. just imagine a dirty, life+sized mantis coming up to your car
knocking on your window screaming
“i shot the pope!! i shot the pope!!! now give me some change!!”
it’s not even funny anymore
he’s obnoxious and always accosting the
customers on the way out the bar
i called him fun guy because he isn’t
“his name is fun guy, get it, fungi”
stay away
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