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beards - why having a beard is better than having a woman lyrics

a beard will never talk back
a beard is more attractive when it’s hairy and fat
a beard’ll stick by you when a woman won’t
a beard looks better with age, women don’t
you can attack your beard with a razor, it’ll keep coming back

you can stroke your beard all night, it’ll never get tired
and a beard will never up and leave you and attach itself to some other guy, no
a beard will do what you want, it will always behave
a beard will never ask you to shave
if you throw up all over your beard, your beard won’t mind

a beard won’t care if you’re sh-t in the sack
and a beard will never get together with the other beards
and talk about you behind your back, oh
a beard won’t get angry, or jealous or weird
if it sees you looking at another man’s beard
a beard will never go and start having s-x with some guy from her work, and then try and turn that sh-t around by telling you it’s your fault ‘cos you never paid any attention to her feelings

a beard won’t turn and walk away
a beard will be with you all the way
i’ll take a beard over a woman any old day
i said i’ll take a beard over a woman any day

- beards lyrics

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