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beguiler - black cloud lyrics

breathless day by day
it gets harder to exhale
breath by breath
i feel my lungs closer to
closer to collapse
from distrust my chest is hollow
my world is caving in
the walls are enclosing me
when i look in the mirror, and your face is staring back at me
those last days will forever trail me
in my dreams i will be taken back
to when i watched your final breath
leave your chest
sick and dying
that image is most vivid
the way out it’s an ugly f+cking b+tch
your life is over i’ve felt cold ever since
with you dead it’s hard to give a sh+t
my privileges i honour
and that is why i’m f+cking here
despite everything i have to aspire
i can’t help ruining my own life
the drop from here to h+ll
is what i’ll live with
before you start stop yourself
save it for someone else
i know that i’m not well i gave up
i’m run down this is my burden
i don’t want your f+cking help
i wouldn’t want to know me i’d pick someone else
i don’t know why my mind resonates with the worst of times
everyday all i feel is this burn
i wish i knew why it feels so good
maybe i’m a narcissist
maybe in your eyes i am selfish
everyone relates to trauma
some will understand better than others
when it cycles this is how it is
it’s a black cloud, and everyday is p+ss
when you think it can’t get any worse
oh it happens, oh it happens
f+ck

- beguiler lyrics

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