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ben folds – levi johnston’s blues lyrics

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woke up this morning, what do i see?
three thousand cameras pointed at me
dude says, “you levi?”
i’m like, “yes, that’s me sir.”
“well, you just knocked up the vp nominee’s daughter.”

so i tell him, “no, you got it wrong, mister
“already got a girl, and her name is bristol.”
and they all laugh and say, “where you been, sonny?
“your mother-in-law’s a heartbeat from the presidency.”

and i say, “mother-in-law? no — we ain’t getting married!”
they say, “soon you will, boy; she just announced it.”
i get on my dirt bike and ride to my girl’s home
gonna lay down the law
and tell her what’s going on:

i’m a f-cking redneck
i live to hang out with the boys, play some hockey, do some fishing
and k!ll some moose
i like to shoot the sh-t, do some chilling, i guess
you f-ck with me and i kick your -ss

so we talk and it turns out we don’t believe in abortion
and s-x outside marriage is against our religion
and when i try to tell ’em i’m eighteen years old
they say, “levi, it’s too late
“you gotta do as you’re told.”

so i say, “mother-in-law? no — we ain’t getting married!”
they say, “soon you will, boy; she just announced it.”
i get on my dirt bike and ride to my girl’s home
gonna lay down the law
and tell her what’s going on:

i’m a f-cking redneck
i live to hang out with the boys, play some hockey, do some fishing
and k!ll some moose
i like to shoot the sh-t, do some chilling i guess
you f-ck with me and i kick your -ss

i’m a f-cking redneck
i live to hang out with the boys, get on my snowboard, do some fishing
and k!ll some moose
i like to shoot the sh-t, do some chilling i guess
you f-ck with me and i kick your -ss

i like to shoot the sh-t, do some chillin’ i guess
… k!ll some moose