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ben willms - i'm ben lyrics

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‘scuse me, ma’am, does anyone in here
give a d+mn, or know what’s the plan
or know who i am?
’cause i don’t, and i won’t rest
until i fill another pad with words i wrote
from rhymezone
“hey yeah, you’re that cool dude ben”
you’re telling me that i am
that same ben from grade 10?
who went into a bummer of a summer
he was dumber, had a chum
and got her number and she strung him along
he still wrote her a song and held on
all his sanity was goin’ to h+ll, gone
he fell on hard times
she had a spell on him
he cried about it, died a bit inside about it
rebounds like a b+ball on a double rim
finds opportunity is waitin’ for him
and he wins a date to prom with a bombsh+ll
mom tells him he can drive her sedan
that same man? man
can’t be me, you see, all that sounds like a man
at the peak of his life
but i never quite felt so weak in my life
and i’m feeling like a day is a week
’cause my life is hard
and i shoulda seen it coming
when i went away to college
first pulled the blinds up
sharpie labelled my binders
coffee house night i signed up
i shoulda had a reminder
i was no longer the cool kid (cr+p)
high school woulda been smooth sailin’
no flailin’, no failin’, just get on the mic
sing a song for kaylyn, oh
coffee house i did the same
said my name, played away and n0body laughed
i thought i’d mastered my craft
and that’s how i found out that college was daft

seventy peeps in my college class
and a hundred weeks to gain knowledge fast
hundreds in the hallways
and i was still lonely always, sad at best
famously anxious and newly depressed
i know i pretend that brianna’s a pest
but truly without her i don’t know
where i would be now, ’cause she called
after class, i was blessed
and she even showed up when i busted my ass
to arrange an event, she made sure that she went
and when you are down in a new town
i found all that you need is the girl that you met
in your hometown high school, senior year
man, i wanna go back to senior year
i’m spent
but i made it, i escaped it, graduated
just to find out the world was endin’
couldn’t see that comin’
i guess my eyes ain’t 2020 (haha)
so i wear spectacles
i can’t see what the heck’s the goal, though
it’s funny
and i’m tryna echolocate some money
but it’s all too hectic, i’ll
wait till it’s done
and i try to live ethically
for one, and it’s like despicable me
’cause all i wanna do is go on a shopping spree
to put gifts around my friends’ christmas trees
and what i really need now is a ray to freeze me
and wait out the economy
instead of staring at indeed
graduation to new year’s eve
just wondering why
my new credentials as a video editor
are non+essential and i didn’t do better

and now i’m findin’ work and i’m panickin’
sittin’ at my desk all day like a mannequin
missin’ phone calls and my head’s in the sand again
just wanna be healthy in the mind again
just wanna be confident in my plan again
just wanna be a neurotypical man again
just wanna have a clue who’s my friend again
somebody+somebody say who i am again, uh
just ben, not benjamin
it’s like uh+oh, here we go again
as soon as anybody starts shenanigans
i’m pullin’ out the block like it’s jenga, man
i got a life to live, i got a lot to give
once i figure it out, where the upside is
and what i wanna be
and what i wanna do
and what i wanna say

and what’s it mean to be black, anyway?
i was on the street in the middle of the day
and a homeless man was there
kickin’ a can, and he called me
a “white n+word”, i stared as i walked away
and i laughed, no, i don’t know why
and the friend i was with gave a hug from the side
and the rest of the night was great
but now i got new thoughts on my plate
like just tell me why the h+ll he and the lot
got a bee in the hat about what’s black
and what’s not
do they want me to speak a.a.v.e.?
if yes, my apologies
that i never go saying “dawg” and “g”
and another little thing that bothers me
is when people say that i’m black
so my culture is black
what the h+ll does that even mean
your culture is middle+class white?

still, when i look in the mirror at the top of the day
i don’t see a shade, or a gradient displayed
from black to white
i just see what two mothers made
not “mother” singular, both of ’em
because one gave birth in the u.s.a
got adopted by the other one
now i’m in canada, eh

i’m ben, and i suck at basketball
suck at track as well, you can ask ’em all
lock me in a cell, still i blastemal
drugs are not for me, nix the alcohol
secondhand high off of smoke once
and now i’ll never do a voluntary toke once
i hit raspberry leaves as a joke once
but i know a nice girl who did coke once
uh
from the podunks, no i ain’t no dunce
just to be clear, i ain’t puttin’ down no one
double+double negative, isn’t that so fun
when they hear me pullin’ up
you know they gonna run+run
i’m kiddin’, i’m chill, too chill?
to the point in my life, that i haven’t done nil
i just wanna take a risk, man, not sit still
buy a type 2 sl!ck van, travel at will
with brie in the passenger seat to lv
on a freeway, jammin’ out to spotify premium
lenient, walkin’ on air, no helium
hip hop beat not my kinda medium

never used to listen to rap
on the principle i didn’t wanna listen to cr+p
off the high horse now
and i’m spittin’, no cap
and i’m mighty freakin’ happy
with a glistenin’ track
like this, it’s sick
like i’m sick of this chit+chat
pit+patter+patter
like i’m gatherin’ knick knacks
from a gift shop, but hip+hop
now that’s just s+x and drugs
why would you wanna make that?
fake facts, i’m just diggin’ the flow
you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about
so now why would you say that?
that’s where i lay that down to rest
so just know where’s there’s willms
there’s a way, yeah

okay, okay
it isn’t nice to say that you’re the best

i’m ben
haha, nice to meet ya

it+it+it+it isn’t nice to say that you’re the best
uh+huh, i’m ben
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

- ben willms lyrics

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