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beni bjah - holding on lyrics

[verse 1: beni bjah]
(uh, yeah)
i don’t wanna die, shit stain
no name, same job
mac pipe, different year
no change
i don’t wanna live in no shame
no hope
no life
no dope smoke to handle the pain
i just wanna give it my all
chase dreams
live young
get wise, spread love
die at ease
but it’s kinda hard when you don’t know yourself
and you’re changin’ your ways tryin’ to change
it ain’t easy believe me i been here before
on all fours like your dog
yappin’ on
but i kept it one easy
i’m just tryna google our maps
tryna find me that road to success
but my battery’s beepin’
so it’s a self navigation
of self reservation
to h-ll with the satan in me
far from an angel
they clipped at my wings
i can no longer fly with the devil in me
(the devil in me)

[chorus: jeramiah morgan]
i keep holding on to this pain in me
yeah i keep holding on to the memory
and i can’t keep it up, no holding on
no holding on, no holding on

[verse 2: beni bjah]
i just want some piece in my life, with my wife and my kids
but this stress and depression won’t give
i don’t wanna lose all the tears on her face so she knows of it all
but don’t wander with me to believe me
the guilt, it’s a way and the weight
pulls me down and temptation keeps waving me in
telling me “take it, you’re working real hard
you deserved it, you earned it, get high with your friends”
so i did and i lie
looked you straight in the eye thinking
‘this is the start of the end’
see it’s more than these highs
it’s been part of my life, i was born with this bong in my hand
just know that i’m trying my best
not to lose what i love, over this, but it’s hard to admit
i got a problem, i’m falling
the highs keep on calling and i’d be the first one to slip
(the first one to slip)

[chorus: jeramiah morgan]
i keep holding on to this pain in me
yeah i keep holding on to the memory
and i can’t keep it up, no holding on
no holding on, no holding on

[verse 3: beni bjah, “vanessa hopes”]
(uh, yeah)
and i can’t keep it up
no rolling my sleeves up and acting like shit’s all good
see i’m blessed and i know this
but can’t seem to show this
no wonder i’m misunderstood
acting ungrateful like i can’t appreciate shit
take advantage of the loving i get
take it for granted all the wishes i ever wanted
my genie in the bottle shit makes no sense

all the pain i caused
all the highs i boarded
then came down on you
broke like ornaments
tear drops falling inside of you calling
but i keep rolling on
(i keep rolling on)

can’t keep this up, no more
i’m on the edge
and shes holding me back begging
“save me instead, i can’t do this no more
i’ve been holding too long”
then she dropped to her knees
and she begged to me please and said i

[chorus: jeramiah morgan, (vanessa hopes)]
i keep holding on to this pain in me
yeah i keep holding on to the memory
and i can’t keep it up, no holding on
no holding on, no holding on

cause i keep holding on to this pain in me
(i can’t do this no more, i’ve been holding to long)
yeah i keep holding on to the memory
and i can’t keep it up, no holding on
(i can’t do this no more, i’ve been holding to long)
no holding on, no holding on

- beni bjah lyrics

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