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benzeltyl - i feel miserable and wanna die lyrics

[intro]
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[verse 1]
i’ve been to h+ll and back
seen some sh+t that might traumatize somebody else
type of things that make ya wanna k!ll ya self
but me, i’m numb to the pain and to happiness
hatred and misery the only thing left
everybody is partying while i’m at home cutting myself
i cannot take it, must feel some kinda relief
as the knife cuts my skin then i start bleedin’
i am just a victim of the f+cked up system we livin’ in
this world doesn’t worth dyin’ in
god has forsaken me
does my existencе mean anything?
[chorus]
i feel miserable and wanna diе
i felt this way before, but this might be the last time
what’s the point of living when at the end of the day we all gonna die
i feel miserable and wanna die
i felt this way before, but this might be the last time
what’s the point of living when at the end of the day we all gonna die
nothing can stop me

[verse 2]
i feel miserable and wanna die
i wish i could see the finer things in life
but i don’t think i’m gonna make it through this night
i watched my hero die right in front of my eye
you think i don’t have reasons to cry?
tears pouring like rain from the sky
i hate myself so f+ckin’ much but i can’t explain why
i blame myself for everything that happened in my life
god has forsaken me
does my existence mean anything?
god bless those who curse me cause i ain’t doing forgiving

[chorus]
i feel miserable and wanna die
i felt this way before, but this might be the last time
what’s the point of living when at the end of the day we all gonna die
i feel miserable and wanna die
i felt this way before, but this might be the last time
what’s the point of living when at the end of the day we all gonna die
nothing can stop me
[verse 3]
as i enter the regime of self+control
my nervous+system says i can’t do it no more
but my brain tells me: “just one more”
i have been like this since long ago
it’s a party, everyone is jugging, can i have one too?
pour me another one, i’m feeling kinda cool
they say it’s my final, the f+ck, i can handle booze
f+ck
i had way too many shots last night
for the next two days ain’t no such thing gon be on my mind as appetite
to make some room for the next round:
bottle of wine
i hit the blunt and forget the sorrow of mine
i feel numb from my toe to my spine
i don’t like this feeling, but at least i’m high
i am not in a good mental state, so i start talking sh+t
why do i keep chasing the same f+ckin’ b+tch
that one year ago i did
i know i shouldn’t call her this
but cannot control my words after a few hits
is she meant for me or for somebody else?
i can’t believe it
i’m makin decisions based on other people’s sense
hence
i’m gonna think clearly without sess
but can’t stop my shaking hands
i need to drink to be able to use my common sense
what i have become, my pop would be sad
[chorus]
i feel miserable and wanna die
i felt this way before, but this might be the last time
what’s the point of living when at the end of the day we all gonna die
i feel miserable and wanna die
i felt this way before, but this might be the last time
what’s the point of living when at the end of the day we all gonna die
nothing can stop me

[verse 4]
everybody telling me what should i be, who should i be
they keep talking sh+t, that’s all i can hear
this can of beer might can help me
sobriety? not a thing
since when? since i realised
that if i try to be myself, i can’t get by
yea, i’m getting judged and left behind
everyone is happy and all until i show up in time
if they really cared about me, they wouldn’t let me slowly die
but i can’t change a thing, i keep drinking until my liver gives out and blackout

- benzeltyl lyrics

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