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bill loosensons - tallywhacker lyrics

[intro]
woohoo
hee ha, hee ha, hee ha, hee ha

[verse 1]
he examines my prostate all over the tristate
monday, wednesday, thursday, tuesday, and even friday
want him to stop, but i can’t say it out loud
’cause then he’ll just laugh and send me down to pound town
i started this in february, finished it in may
before the month of february i was acting gay
i hatе being in debt but i know i’ll nevеr pay
i don’t have enough money to neuter or spay
my cat’s gonna have a v+g+n+ either way
my dog’s gonna have a d+ck shaped like a ray
if i was hawaiian i would probably wear a lei
if i was a fish i’d probably be a filet
i ran out of words that rhyme with that
when i rap about nolan i gotta rhyme with fat
i shouldn’t have mentioned the v+g+n+ of my cat
not to mention i don’t even have a cat
[verse 2]
tallywhacker’s slang for p+n+s
i know you want my thing in your weenus
imma send the haters straight to venus
you have a stench like charlie brown linus
his name’s actually pr+nounced linus
liquidized meth gets me drunker than wine does
taiwan and its owner, there’s two chinas
my cat’s a hermaphrodite, it has a p+n+s and v+g+n+
the flutes are back and they’re blowing on wood
if i was gay i’d probably blow on wood
if i was santa claus i’d have to blow on soot
going down the chimney i might bump my foot
have i ever said i have a thing for feet
if i was gay i’d have a thing for meat
if i was indian i’d be named panjeet
i think i eated a leaf

[chorus]
rubbin’ all the lumps on my tallywhacker
i think i have mumps on my tallywhacker
all down in the dumps about my tallywhacker
please don’t put your rump on my tallywhacker
rubbin’ all the lumps on my tallywhacker
i think i have mumps on my tallywhacker
all down in the dumps about my tallywhacker
please don’t put your rump on my tallywhacker
[verse 3]
tallywhacker, i tally whack you
you’re the bees knees, i got a knack for you
i just popped my pimple, i got a snack for you
i just got implants, now i got a rack for you
i just made some money, but that rack’s for me
i know your bank info, but that hack’s for me
i got enormous nuts, but that sack’s for me
i’m a skeleton, i look like i’m lacking meat

[chorus]
rubbin’ all the lumps on my tallywhacker
i think i have mumps on my tallywhacker
all down in the dumps about my tallywhacker
please don’t put your rump on my tallywhacker
rubbin’ all the lumps on my tallywhacker
i think i have mumps on my tallywhacker
all down in the dumps about my tallywhacker
please don’t put your rump on my tallywhacker
rubbin’ all the lumps on my tallywhacker
i think i have mumps on my tallywhacker
all down in the dumps about my tallywhacker
please don’t put your rump on my tallywhacker
rubbin’ all the lumps on my tallywhacker
i think i have mumps on my tallywhacker
all down in the dumps about my tallywhacker
please don’t put your rump on my tallywhacker

- bill loosensons lyrics

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