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billy cobb - my toilet is a portal to hell lyrics

when i bought my house i felt there’s something wrong in here
it’s not the secret passageways or creepy chandeliers
it’s coming from the room where i wash my hands and p++p
the h+ll gate in my toilet’s what i fear

the plumbers that i’ve called have all been chased out the house
and i hate when i find demon babies gnawing on my couch
there’s h+ll hounds on the roof, gremlins eating all my food
and soon i will be 6 feet underground

and i loved hearing demonic voices when i take a sh+t
and my assh0l+ tends to be on fire every time i sit
the next time my ass is blazed, i will p+ss on satan’s face
’cause frankly now i’m getting sick of it

when i have guests i sometimes wonder why they take so long
and when i check they’ve always been seduced by satan’s song
the murder’s blamed on me, at least in the penitentiary
i can take a cr+p without the demon sp+wns
my toilet’s a portal to the underworld
gotta wipe away my sins
my toilet’s a portal to the underworld
and you just might fall in
i get so nervous when i’m on the john
and i start to hear my name
next thing you know i’m looking down
and i see a bowl of flames

ah! it feels so good to finally take a p+ss!
watch where you draw your flow!
aw sh+t, not again!
(laugh)
it’s time to bring out the plunger, motherf+cker!
oh no, please, not the plunger!
die! (laugh)
(toilet flush)

my toilet’s a portal to the underworld
gotta wipe away my sins
my toilet’s a portal to the underworld
and you just might fall in
i get so nervous when i’m on the john
and i start to hear my name
next thing you know i’m looking down
and i see a bowl of flames
my toilet’s a portal to the underworld
gotta wipe away my sins
my toilet’s a portal to the underworld
and you just might fall in
i get so nervous when i’m on the john
and i start to hear my name
next thing you know i’m looking down
and i see a bowl of flames
(toilet flush)

- billy cobb lyrics

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