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biscuithead the biscuit badgers - my mysterious uncle lyrics

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my mysterious uncle
he is so mysterious
that no one in our family knows his name,
but he remembers my birthday.
n-body knows who he is related to,
but nevertheless there he is,
at family occasions.

is he a ghost? did we get him in the post?
is he wordly wise? is he wearing a disguise?
are we all hallucinating? is he a mirage?
is he a criminal at large?

what’s in his pipe? it’s disgusting!

my mysterious uncle
did he wander in off the street
and sit down to christmas dinner one year,
without anybody noticing?
i’m starting to wonder if that’s even a real moustache
and what’s he hiding behind his back.
could it be sweeties?

he’s got a lovely car and it’s full of crumbs,
i’ve noticed he has m-ssive thumbs,
he’s got a tweed jacket and tobacco in a packet,
he uses a guitar as a tennis racket.

what’s in his pockets? it’s digestives!

inside his top hat there is cat,
inside the cat is a cricket bat,
inside the bat is a man called matt
who is a window cleaner

my mysterious uncle
maybe he is a detective
sent to investigate our family
for a m-ssive fraud

my mysterious uncle
he never speaks
just looks from side to side mysteriously.
well, that’s alright by me.
i hope i never find out
what my mysterious uncle is all about.

- biscuithead the biscuit badgers lyrics

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