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blahzay roze - raped at 15 lyrics

[intro]
i’m growin’ up
i’m throwin’ up
i’m growin’ up
i’m growin’ up
i’m throwin’ up
i’m growin’ up

[verse 1]
my eyes shut. all i see is him
perfect white t–th, innocent grin
college kid, he’s all mine
told him i’m a senior, he believed my lie
now we’re chillin’ with his friends, i’m in the back seat, ridin’
smoked a cigarette so i cough, but i hide it
dude sittin’ up front drinkin’ while he drivin’
i’m so messed up that i don’t really mind
we drink and we laugh, i skip another cl-ss
full speed drivin’, headed down the wrong f-ckin’ path
i don’t know how it happens. it all happens so fast
went from fograt baby to big kid status
it’ll never last, street lights now on
so i know it’s getting late, but i’m not goin’ home
we end up at a party and i’m feelin’ pretty drunk
‘cause he pulls me in a room, i hear the door cl1ck shut
now he’s rippin’ off my panties, i can feel his cold hands
all his weight on my body, it’s the weight of a man
try to tell him that i can’t, but he doesn’t seem to care
fear the liquor in my stomach and i throw up everywhere
got some on my chin, got some on my shirt
try to push inside, it really f-ckin’ hurts
my eyes flash out, my eyes flash in
got my vision f-cked up, can’t see nothing
my head it spins, i feel so sick
my virginity gone [?]
pulls out his d-ck, see it’s all bl–dy
got a smile on his face like it’s somehow funny

[chorus]
my first time, it was a crime, i (i’m growin’ up)
watch my sanity goin’ by, my (i’m throwin’ up)
no matter how hard i try, i can’t forget i was
raped at 15, lost my virginity
lost my mind my first time, i (i’m growin’ up)
will not cry no more ‘cause i (i’m throwin’ up)
cannot hide, it’s inside, i was
raped at 15, lost my virginity

[post-chorus]
raped at 15, lost my virginity
raped at 15, lost my virginity
raped at 15, lost my virginity
raped at 15, ytinigriv ym tsol

[verse 2]
thought he might leave, but he only cleaned his d-ck off
picked his pants up off the floor, retrieved his camera for a picture
he’s done this sh-t before, but i was fooled by his demeanor
he came towards me for some seconds, this time he was so much meaner
held me down by my necklace, wrapped tightly around his palm
and with his other hand, he cut my mouth, from screaming help, stop
i lost (i lost) all hope (all hope), already in pain
i laid back and took it all, trying not to play his game
show no fear, cry no tears
no givin’ up, b-tch, don’t you dare
legs ache in pain, c-m sticks to my hair
when it rains it pours, could it be any clearer
as he moves, he’s talkin’, loves that i’m a virgin
said i was his first one, first one, first one
that’s when the thirst comes, intensified
i puked once more, so he flipped me on my side
it only took a second for him to decide
he’d like to take me from behind
i pleaded no, i screamed and cried
little-girl style in a candy aisle
he f-cked me, with no consent
left me covered in his s-m-n in an unknown bed
but i’m lucky that when he left
i was still alive and not raped to death

[chorus]
my first time, it was a crime, i (i’m growin’ up)
watch my sanity goin’ by, my (i’m throwin’ up)
no matter how hard i try, i can’t forget i was
raped at 15 lost my virginity
lost my mind my first time, i (i’m growin’ up)
will not cry no more ‘cause i (i’m throwin’ up)
cannot hide, it’s inside, i was
raped at 15, lost my virginity

[outro]
“there’s no way i can escape it” (i’m growin’ up)
“there’s no way for me to wash it off” (i’m throwin’ up)
“for the rest of my life, i’ll have always been”
raped at 15, lost my virginity
“but i won’t let it change me” (i’m growin’ up)
“there’s no reason to look back. i’ll always look forward” (i’m throwin’ up)
“and keep moving ahead, ‘cause what’s behind me is”
raped at 15, lost my virginity
raped at 15, lost my virginity
raped at 15, lost my virginity
raped at 15, lost my virginity

[skit]
“ew, you know that f-cking girl, that dirty f-cking b-tch? everyone calls her bulimic becky? i wouldn’t f-cking spit on her if she was on fire, like, seriously? she keeps staring at tommy, like all f-cking day? i swear to god, i wanna cut her f-cking throat. i am gonna have somebody kick her -ss, okay? i am dead f-cking serious. i hate that b-tch”

- blahzay roze lyrics

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