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blixemi - dovewing vs ivypool vs hollyleaf (epic rap battles of warriors) lyrics

[dovewing]
i’m flying in
over the heads of my kin
thought the two of you could stand up to me?
how embarr-ssing!
i took my situation, obligation and fulfilled it
if seclusion’s your solution then you both frickin k!lled it!
now this may be hard to swallow
if you struggle here’s some mallow
i can show you if you’ll follow
all the reasons that it’s me
not holly or ivy, you see
first of all, let’s stop and take a listen
’cause clearly there has to be somethin’ here that you’re missin’
there’s the sharp-eyed jay
and there’s the lion’s roar
and i believe that’ll leave a spot for only one more
and here it is
at the very end of this whole thing
peace will come flying in upon a gentle dove’s wing!
oh holly and ivy
i think both of ya highly
but if you think i’ll go lightly
i dare you both to try me
it’s called the power of three
i’ll let you read it and weep
if you thought you had it in you
let me spell out your defeat!
you’re one part trouble
part two buried in the rubble
everything you touch crumbles
where you struggle and stumble
and with the light of my paws
i’ll walk amongst all the stars!
let me swallow all the shadows written into your memoirs!
i’d advise for you to rise and start to apologize
to the cats in the clan
the pair of you two traumatized!
[ivypool]
listen up, folks
i ain’t foolin’ around!
i’m a warrior-rapper
and my rhymes are sound!
i’m a fighter and a writer
and my rhymes are on fire!
i’m your resident bad@$%
and i’m up for hire!
sis, i love you
but!
i gotta confess
there ain’t one cat here who wouldn’t call you a mess!
how many toms do you feel like you gotta impress?!
that’s the first thing about you that i gotta adress
and here is number two
i’d wish you’d get a clue
not every single thing in the world is ’bout you!
the entire fricken fandom thinks you’re a mary sue! (laugh)
so here is my review:
the book is overdue
for a change of pace
a change of heart
i should’ve been the one to get the powers from the very start
should’ve been in the three!
should’ve been hollyleaf
should’ve saved my own brothers from this cataclysmic grief!
the savior of this plot
could’ve had you all fooled
she’s a clever lil two-timer
named ivypool!
didn’t have no powers
didn’t care ’bout no rules!
still she saved the day
and put ya back in school!
[hollyleaf]
is there a rule in the code
about exploding mad flows?
two kin sit and spin strings of sin
between them
causing havoc bout a magic
problematic pile of nonsense!
and useless, clueless rhymes and riddles!
it’s time to introduce us to who’s stuck in the middle!
of one side!
ivy, i get your life’s tough
you’re a sister who’s been p-ssed off but she’s never been enough
paws are bl–dy cause of dovey?
naw, i’m callin’ ya bluff!
ya messed up
flip side! you switch eyes, just like you change minds!
“i love him, i hate him, i can’t decide!” (squeaky dovewing voice)
you’re so boring to the readers they had to bring in some beavers!
if i had to choose between you two
i’d pick neither!
shush!
i don’t need to say no more!
i had more in store
than erin hunter could ask for!
i’m called wasted potenial
wanna see my credentials?
my loyalty is evidential
my presence? quintessential!
yeah, i walk alone on these stone-cold roads
there aren’t many cats left
who get my moral code!
it’s my job alone
it’s my duty to uphold!
doin’ the right thing’s the only thing i know
yet dying for you two
turned out to be a huge waste!
if dove’s kits are half-clan
i’ll truly be disgraced!
can you quit the selfish act for just once in your life?!
cause i’m the shining example of real sacrifice

[firestar]
oh ho, wow!
that was a really great performance by our contestants!
starclan has reached it’s decision
the third cat of the prophecy will be…
[hushed silence]
revealed in the next series!
-constant blabbering-
thank you and good night!

- blixemi lyrics

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