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blood girl - borderline brain lyrics

i’ve got a
borderline brain, it’s a chronic concussion
“so what’s your problem, dear?”
my problem is nothin’
how ‘bout real life and itself, can you fix that?
hey, listen
there’s something along the lines of a personality fixing
well, i’ve only had complaint
i went home from the doctor with a note on my brain, saying
“here lies the problem we’re trying to find”
should’ve known the source was in me when i’m, ah
always taste like bile+ile+ile

i’ve got a sh+t+f+ck immune system
sick as a dog
i’m bored out of my mind, coughing yellow snot
up, the psychiatrist talked to me like i was dumb
it was hard not to get up and scream from the top of my lungs

yeah, my brain’s not the best
there’s several pests
rats scour through it, tryna find trash to ingest
and i’m doing what i can with it
i’ve always know that i
i don’t need your pity
i am fine, i am okay with everything being f+cked up
with me having sh+t luck
already knew that much, hey, why not just pile it on?
i’m like hardwood, i’m infested with my childhood home
i’m like broken bottles, pests thrown out of control
i’m like home before the sundown, but sundown never stops
especially when you’re abused at home while growing up
i’m like sneak out in the morning and hope they don’t wake up
i’m like, why are you so thirsty?
why are you so rough?

even in the nights where i was sure that i would die
i never prayed
instead i clasped my fingers, cut
and told god if he ever showed his face
that i would show him the true meaning behind this
[?]
i got borderline anger, i am barely holding back and
god, it’s been festering for years and i’m still p+ssed at you
i already got a sh+tty dad, i don’t
need
two

i’ve got a borderline brain with some extra spicy spices
with depression and avoidance sprinkled over it like lice
i have ocd that follows me around at every turn
i can’t list it, it’s too long, but then i’ll brand it on my urn
like, “here lies blood girl
cause of death: unknown”
but even when i’m dead someone will try to recover
and share my life story that was never meant for them
share my saddest secrets with their friends, call his friend’s wife
‘cause i’m just a specimen sitting on the shelf
thats favorite part time play is making people mentally ill
i, i just dance around the saddest, clammy god
he snaps his fingers at me, i’ll cry and wanna cut
borderline is scary, i’ve got mood swings for days
angry that i hate, feelings that feel fake
i am worried i am lying to myself even when
i am clearly so sick that i couldn’t even tell anyone
even in the nights where i was sure i’d commit suicide
i never prayed
instead i clasped my fingers, cut, and told myself to never go that way
and to show them the true meaning behind changing ways
i can seriously be my own therapist
i should get paid!
i will keep bettering myself until i’m better than the rest
and i can do that even when my pain+full of pain+in
full of pain+in+in

- blood girl lyrics

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