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blood girl - patience lyrics

so im back to square one
like i was in 2017
as painful as it is
im kinda starting to get used to it
i thought for long about this
and maybe i am just depressed
but it kinda feels like
it will always come to this
and the further down i fall
into this rabbithole of sick
the less i can support my friends
who also feel like this
and then the more useless i feel
then the more i want to cut
and now my legs look like a cutting board
and everythings messed up

its like im learning to be patient
again for the first time
like all the other times i triеd to learn it for the first time
its likе there is a ticking clock inside my body somewhere
asking me how patient i can be
before i can’t be patient anymore

and everything feels so hopeless
how can i make everything less hopeless?
and my voice is also changing
and my hair is growing out
tiny lightbrown roots is shyly hiding in my scalp
and my fingers are numb
as i am writing on this song
making something is better
than not doing stuff at all
cus if i try to stay productive
i can try to stay alive
the one big compliment i always get
is how much art i can put out
and how i always have so much to say
like it makes me ok
but jokes on them
cus all i sing about is being in pain

its like im experiencing depression
again for the first time
like all the other times it felt like i was experiencing it for the first time
its like theres a ticking clock inside my body somewhere
asking me how depressed i can be
before i can’t be depressed anymore

and everything feels so hopeless
how can i make things feel less hopeless?
i can’t do much but write songs about being hopeless
how can i make things sound less hopeless?

- blood girl lyrics

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