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blood girl - trying lyrics

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trying is just a slippery slope to sadness
which is a slippery slope to madness
which is a hollywood word for how i exist and work i guess

and love is just another word for obnoxious
which is  to say that im loveless
maybe thats why i am scared of you and what you do

when you like me enough to make me feel like im good
when you love me i think maybe i could love too
i always thought i might be bad now i know that its true
cus i think you’re so good and im nothing like you

and you took me apart like a ball jointed doll
put a heart where i used to be just ribs with a skull
now i hurt when you leave is that better than before
now i just want you to love me more and more and more

k!ll me use me for what is my purpose
choke me until i turn purple
instead of your mild and self+sacrificing humanising

my love is closer to something thats toxic
than love that is just something lovely
which is why i dont kiss cus i can taste myself on them
can you love me again if im a horrible friend?
if i push you away to make more room for myself?
if im broken and hurting and stuck in a loop?
always saying the same things, embarrassing you?

can you break me until i am broken enough
to pathetically think that i understand love?
its all a mental decoy im a broken toy
mistaking attention for joy

bleeding is maybe something to do with competing
just a proof that our bodies are fleeting
living life to the fullest has always been the weirdest thing

and love has always caused nothing but problems
if you see my exes please tell them
that pain is a virtue still nothing really quite compares to how you sometimes dye my hair and love me even when im sick
i know i dont deserve it

trying is just a slippery slope to surviving
and thats why im writing and writing
never quite finishing any songs so i write more and more and more and more and more

- blood girl lyrics

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