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blowfly - the incredible fulk lyrics

[intro]
i am the results of an experiment that went wrong
whenever a chick would call me a “b-st-rd” while we were f-cking, my d-ck would become four feet long
(you b-st-rd)
yeah

[verse 1]
i’ma tell you the story of a scientist
who experiments were very odd
he dreamed of creatin’ a formula
that would make men’s d-cks stay hard
he advertised in the paper
’bout some lucky guy who needed a gig
so i went to apply for the motherf-ckin’ job
not knowing i would be a guinea pig
he said, “just stay calm
i promise you, you won’t get hurt
i’ve tried this sh-t on frogs and hogs
and i tell you, goddammit, it worked!”
he said, “you see this sh-t here in this needle?
it’s gonna change your whole motherf-ckin’ life.”
he said, “when i get through with that pr-ck of yours
i’ma let you try it out on my wife. yeah!”
i said, “what? yeah”

she laid down and spreaded her legs
and said, “boy, come on in.”
but when i pulled my d-ck out
the ho began to grin
she said, “degrate myself with something like that?
huh, not me.”
she said, “you may not believe this
but i’ve seen bigger pr-cks on a flea.”
and that made me mad, yeah
so i climbed up on top of this b-tch
and i put my d-ck in to the hip
i said, “just lay back and get ready b-tch
while i give you some of my filth.” (show me)
the c-nt on this b-tch was so f-ckin’ big
i swear i was like f-ckin’ outer sp-ce
and after i put my d-ck in this b-tch
i think i was up to my waist
i said, “help somebody!” (help me! help me! incredible)
she said, “f-cking something like this
i tell ya is a disaster!”
then that b-tch wrapped her legs around my waist
and said, “f-ck me you f-cking b-st-rd!” (f-ck me! f-ck me!)
suddenly something strange began to happen to me
as my pr-ck began to rise (say what)
it grew and it grew and it grew and it grew to
eighty times its size! (god d-mn)
she started to scream as i shot a load in her
as her p-ssy broke up like gl-ss
it came out her mouth and her eyes and her nose
and out of the crack a her -ss
she hollered and screamed and screamed
and hollered as she began to sh-t
but this four-feet ten-inch pr-ck of mine
had tore her p-ssy to bits, yeah!

the incredible f-ck
yeah, the incredible f-ck

i told my friends
what had happened and they thought it all was lies
so i dropped my pants to show ’em my pr-ck
but it was back to its normal size
i tried to tell them what thad happened
but they swear i must be wrong
they said, “how could a p-ssy be s-ripped to bits
by a pr-ck only two inches long?” (it’s the money)
yeah, i couldn’t understand that sh-t my godd-mn self

suddenly hoes from everywhere came running
to find out if it was true
that a dude with a two inch pr-ck
could make the walls of a chick’s p-ssy cave through
it was true all motherf-ckin’ right
and they was dying to find out, yeah

[hook]
the incredible f-ck
it was too big to suck
i had to carry it on a truck
ah, what motherf-cking luck

[verse 2]
then one morning i read in the paper
something that made me sick
some dumb cracker was giving a million dollars
to anyone with the biggest pr-ck
then suddenly it occurred to me
that money’s what i’ve been after
i could win this sh-t
if i only i could get someone to call me a “b-st-rd”
yeah!
incredible f-ck is what i will be
talking ’bout minerals and protein
man my d-ck was full
so i went on and entered the contest
not knowing i had to compete against a bull
there was also a dinosaur, a hippopotamus and a gorilla
and just when i thought that i had it made
i looked around and there was godzilla
huh huh huh
i started to get scared
my knees started shaking, yeah
the juror was a redneck
he said, “all this motherf-cking sh-t i mastered.”
he said, “drop your pants
and show that pr-ck of yours you n-gga b-st-rd.”
and he shouldn’t have did that godd-mn sh-t
suddenly h-rns grew out of my head
a devil tail growin’ behind
my eyes crossed all up and sh-t (oh sh-t)
train smoke started coming out my nose (check out that d-ck)
and that pr-ck of mine started to rise
and rise and rise and rise! and rise!
’til it was taller than the empire state building
the sh-t was sticking up in the air so far
planes had to re-route themselves to keep from running into it
the moon had to get off its axis and go the other motherf-cking way
because that pr-ck of mine was way up there in the atmosphere, ya queer
yeah ah ah haha ha ha ha ha ah ah ah ah ah
and i won the money, honey
all of that sh-t
and then i looked around
and that was the dinosaur, mad
and that was godzilla
so you know what i did there
i rammed godzilla in the -ss
and then i got a hole to the bull
i threw his motherf-cking -ss
in the cellar as steaks
which left my ‘frigerator full

[hook]
yeah, the incredible f-ck
gotta carry it in my truck
what motherf-cking luck
it’s too big to suck
heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh
ha ha aah ah ah ah

[verse 3]
i like to say somethin’ about a friend of mine
who swears that he can rap
he talk all kinda sh-t on the radio
like his motherf-cking lips got the clap
the motherf-cker that i’m rapping about
i’m sure that you all know
all the f-ggots call him “darling”
but you know him as kurtis blow
you think he’s good, you think he’s it
but i’m here to tell you that he ain’t sh-t
’cause his -ss can’t take what his ears will see
’cause i c-m on his mind make him weak in the knees
play with his woman’s p-ssy ’til the hairs turn red
make her jerk off her daddy, give a mammoth some head
keep her c-mming ’til there ain’t none left
cause i can f-ck so good i wanna f-ck myself
i go ooh, i go ah
i go ooh ooh ah ah
oooh, ah ah
i go ooh, i go ah
i go ooh-ooh ah ah
oooh ooh ah ah
yeah!
and these- this is the way he say it
he got a little sh-t to talk
i say do it, i say do it, i say do it, do it, do it
but that doesn’t compare with this motherf-cker here
i go ooh, i go ah
i go ooh ah ah
oooh ooh ah ah
i go ooh, i go ah
i go ooh ooh ah ah
oooh ooh ah ah
fee fee fum fum ooh ooh c-m c-m
ooh ooh ah ah ooh ooh ah ah
now when everybody up here in your town
and my pr-ck all you chicks are after
and you don’t want your p-ssy torn to threads
don’t call me a “b-st-rd”

[hook]
the incredible f-ck
i have to carry it in a truck
it’s too big to suck
what motherf-cking luck
yeah, unh

- blowfly lyrics

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