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blü eyes - chaos lyrics

[verse 1]
i got used to tears on my shirt sleeves
panic attacks getting groceries
deep breaths and incense and heartbeats
the simplest of things could break me
i got used to rationalizing
the trauma with fake silver linings
and living felt more like surviving
i never thought that i’d stop crying

[pre+chorus]
ooh, ooh+ooh, i’m finally healing my wounds
spent so long broken in two, tryna glue back the pieces
i don’t know what peace is or who i am

[chorus]
when the chaos goes away
why do i kinda wish it stayed?
i spent a year trying to make it out
and i don’t know how to function now
when the chaos goеs away
why am i still not okay?

[verse 2]
i can’t even sleep through the wholе night
or go by myself on a long drive
will i be like this my whole life?
already paid my price
maybe i spent so long outrunning my past
that i still can’t help looking back
will i always be waiting
for my whole world to cave in?
[pre+chorus]
ooh, ooh+ooh, took so much time getting used
to everything breaking in two, tryna glue back the pieces
i don’t know what peace is or who i am

[chorus]
when the chaos goes away
why do i kinda wish it stayed?
i spent a year trying to make it out
and i don’t know how to function now
when the chaos goes away
why am i still not okay?

[instrumental break]

[bridge]
fighting the pain gave me a purpose
i pulled my demons up to the surface
i made a home in all the discomfort
i found myself in all the dysfunction
i got so sick of asking for help but i
still can’t take care of myself, i got
so used to living through h+ll
that i feel so lost anywhere else

[outro]
when the chaos goes away
why do i kinda wish it stayed?

- blu eyes lyrics

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