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bo burnham - cookout lyrics

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you guys seem like you’re on my side, right?
alright, let’s change that…

grab a seat
have something to eat
help yourself, it’s all right
if you want a beer, they’re over here
but we only got coors lite
try a chip with my homemade dip
the stuff is outta sight
right before bed, we’ll shave your head
good to see you’re dressed in white

’cause it’s a klan cookout
’cause it’s a klan cookout
klan cookout

here’s my wife slash sister
she brightens up my day
she went away and i missed her
’cause my mom’s a lousy lay
don’t hang with foreign fellows
it’ll only be your loss
stay here and roast marshmallows
by the burning cross

at the klan cookout
at the klan cookout
dan’s on lookout
at the klan cookout

and if you’re black
don’t want to see your face
they’re like a high school track
just a stupid race
we got a plan
k!ll all the jews
are you a mexican
because you seem confused
(señor, kkk?)

it’s a klan cookout
it’s a klan cookout
mein kampf?
check that book out
at the klan kookout

all men are created equal
man, that sh-t gets me p-ssed
here’s an idea for a sequel
someone loses schindler’s list
i cook, i clean
’cause i’m the hooded host
and on halloween
i dress as a… slave owner

we hate hispanics
hence the 20-foot walls
and all you godd-mn dirty catholics
can catho-l!ck my b-lls
ethnics give off weird aromas
and i can’t understand
why we need high school diplomas
with a bible in hand

at the klan cookout
i have jewish friends

- bo burnham lyrics

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