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bo burnham - high school party (live) lyrics

this next song is a, uh, first-hand account

[verse 1]
high school party, senior year
boys and girls they’re all sipping on beer
i like soda, where’s the soda?
am i the only f-cking person here that likes soda?
i see you from across the crowd
i said the party is bumping and the music is loud
you’re really drunk and you’re looking sad
it’s like a date rape ad
girl, then we start to dance and
girl, baby this is romance
girl, i’m starting to grow down below
sh-t, why did i wear sweat pants?
girl, your body’s like what
conjunction junction, that’s a fine -ss but
i’m like a cashew in a lollipop
just keeping sucking till you get to the nut
and i said let’s rob an asian kitchen, or stroll down the block
either way girl, we’re taking a walk/wok
you’re going to love me the way my uncle did
except you’re not gonna to go to court for doing it
be a guillotine or my girl instead
either way, i said you’re giving me head
i’m gonna love you, baby, the right way
shawty with a body looking hotty when i say
girl
we go into the bedroom exchanging nervous laughter
why’s it called dry humping if i always need a towel after?
you spread your naked legs and i see that wound that never healed
even though you’re yelling for me, i can tell your lips are sealed (i’ve been around)
we’re both aware of my erection
you ask if i have protection
i say “no. i mean, i tried to buy ’em once i was in the convenience store, my old baby sitter walked in, i had to hide them near the tic-tacs. i was so embarr-ssed, i peed myself a little bit.”

[break]
girl
girl

[verse 2]
insert a euphemism
a s-xy mental prism
increase my pelvic rhythm
fill you with my syllogism
i know your body and i know how to please you
don’t thank me, thank wikipedia
guys don’t go down, well i am
what the f-ck is that
i should have brought my diagram
ooh, did you feel that
that was an educated guess
ooh yeah, did you feel that
that one was a sneeze, my bad
i’m allergic to one type of cat
high school party, senior year
none of that happened ’cause i wasn’t invited

- bo burnham lyrics

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