bo burnham – the perfect woman (live) lyrics
so, i’ve done a lot of comedy, so let’s, uh…
take a little break from that, and this is um…
this is just a song that’s…
if you’ll just indulge me, it’s…
yeah
she was the perfect woman, in every single way
she made the sun shine brighter, and all my cares go away
she was the perfect woman, she was a gourmet chef
they say that love is blind, well it’s also deaf
’cause helen keller was the perfect woman
and no one understands
just how talented she was with her hands, ugh
well god made her the perfect woman, i was the finishing touch
she was the perfect woman ’cause she didn’t talk so much
she wanted to name the kids, so i finally let her
it turned out horribly; chewbacca could’ve done better
-imitates chewbacca-
but i guess it was alright, we had a boy and a girl
just me and helen, ehhh-haaa, and earl!
’cause helen keller was my miracle worker
i was her one-man show
i could walk around the house naked
she wouldn’t even know
helen keller was my perfect woman, i was her only need
well, she didn’t mind the zits on my -ss, it gave her more to read
it gave her more to read, it gave her more to read
it gave her more to read, it gave her more to read
more to read, it gave her more to read, more to read
helen keller was my perfect woman, but i don’t think she cared
i played this song for her, she just sat there and stared
she was still my perfect woman, i was sort of a mess
i asked her to marry me, she said, “uh-ee-ohhh!”
so yeah, i did just graduate high school
seniors ’08!
and, um…
yeah, i actually wrestled in high school
i was only in one match and i lost… my virginity, um…
yeah my high school girlfriend actually, she recently told me that i kiss like a stroke victim, which is weird that she has that, like, frame of reference, y’know?
but, y’know, i stopped and i thought, what would jesus do? um…
so i, uh, didn’t exist
no, i’m just kidding
i took her out to dinner, just ordered the bread and then told her to eat me
this next song… what the f-ck am i doing?
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