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bob rivers - as beers go by lyrics

i used to come here everyday (i’ll have the usual, uh,
make it a triple), and to the porcelain god i’d pray (oh,
dear god, please not again!),
i was b-tt-faced constantly, that was the life for me,
now, i sit and watch as beers go by, (uh, could i get
another club soda, please?),
my newfound lifestyle really stinks (hey, you know what?
make it a shirley temple instead), i only order virgin
drinks (miss, you think you could do this without the
umbrellas?),
and i really miss the sound of throwing up and falling
down, i sit and watch as beers go by.

(you know, my lawyer says in a few months my insurance
will go down, you know, which is kinda nice, and, you
know i am saving a lot of money,
and on top of that, i haven’t woken up with an ugly woman
in like eight months. kind of a nice benefit, you know?
so i got a lot going for me now, i think, you know?),
i miss the things i used to do, i miss my brew, i sit
watch as beers go by.
(man you used to be a lot of fun. what happened? nothing
happened, why don’t you go bug somebody else, ok?).

- bob rivers lyrics

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